Let's Never Call It Honesty Again

So, I have committed the unforgivable sin. And no, using picture of cats on the Internet to enhance my blog posts is not unforgivable. Sex is also not unforgivable. Otherwise, many people would be, well, screwed. However, forgetting to post on the day I am assigned? Yeah, I know, that is unforgivable. So, here I am, begging for forgiveness which I know I probably won’t receive.

Now, this week has been hectic. I would like to call it a sort of tri-fold week where three major(ish) things happened. First, I told you guys that I was going to try to be COMPLETELY honest with my mother. I tried, and the blog post is named after that event. Second, I (impulsively) told one of my brothers that I am gay! Thirdly, I went and got me a boyfriend!

So, I’m going to cover these events in order of importance. So, obviously, the most important is my honesty talk with my mother.

I went into this talk telling myself I will be completely honest. I told my mother as such. We had an hour. First question was “Do you want a sex change?” Okay. Mother. I told you two years ago that I am gay. Not once did I mention a sex change. Not to degrade people who do, but I would have thought it was obvious that that was not for me. Okay. So, I cleared that up. Now, I’m ready for a bishop-like confession ceremony. So, the second question was “Did you sneak out in high school?”

Okay. So, given I was trying to get out of this talk, but I DID let it happen with the expectation that my mother would be accepting. Now, who is avoiding topics?

I answer yes (it’s true) and tell her why (just because it was the cool thing to do) and she proceeds to give me a half-hour long lecture about THAT. I mean, maybe in the grand scheme of things, my being gay doesn’t matter as much as sneaking out, but it was an interesting way for her to avoid the uncomfortable topic. So, Tiff, Jo, you guys are correct (as I was secretly hoping you were) that honesty doesn’t mean completeness, it means letting your mother know about major changes in your life. And letting her know you are the same person she raised you to be.

Now I know my mother avoids the topic of my sexuality just as my father does, just in a slightly less direct manner. So, what do I not an hour later? Follow my mother’s advice to tell my siblings. So I did. And the conversation went a bit like this.

Lee: “I’m gay”

Happily married brother who is ten years older: “You do realize that we’ve known for more than three years, right?”

So, basically, my parents might not be terribly accepting, but my family is! My mother’s honesty session may have failed. But my siblings (at least three of the seven) are completely okay with it!!!

Anyways, last topic to cover. I got a boyfriend. And I like him.

Signing off till next WEDNESDAY (not Thursday like I did this week).

I’m Christian Unless You Have an Opinion That I Don’t Agree With

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
–Buddha

Most of us have read THE article ( https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBI63CWoC3Dg6p0n3LbCDDaeKqnf4T1CzapY1YO9jpT36XtJ8hLnZC5YlduODvaAuYgSbJayLYUhk0p136nVRHsRPWd_QLVkUZQ5917FqkpnyDyhkuQTvjLr9XEAl0UeCOeApw6twmDvwh/s1600/LGTB+Hate.jpg ). You know the one. The one that compared single parent families and homosexuals to prostitutes and serial killers. The one where I was shaking with anger and disgust (and hurt). The one where some dude went and shared his opinion.

During my fuming a friend called and asked if I wanted to go play laser tag. Did I ever? I was itching to shoot someone. Lasers would just have to do. When the buzzer went off I was this powerful ball of fury, shooting everyone in my path, absolutely furious at this guy’s audacity to share his opinion. How dare he?! Around the half way mark I became tired and empty, empty from my diminishing anger. I WAS mad at this guy. But for what? He just shared his opinion. I love sharing my opinion (hello I’m blogger) so why was I mad at him. Because I didn’t AGREE with his opinion (and I never will)? But I knew someone who did. When I read the article to my roommate she was totally chill with it. Someone I love dearly thought that that was okay. So why was I so mad at him when I still cared for her? Was it easier to be mad at someone I didn’t really know? Yea, it was. I couldn’t be mad at my friend for her opinion yet it was the same as his.

And all this crazy thinking drew me to a conclusion: Because I had strong opinions, I had the duty to respect (and even value) other strong opinions. So I couldn’t hate this guy, disappointing I know.

Back ground information on me. I was raised (mostly) by one awesome guardian. I also lived with a few not-so-great couples throughout my childhood. But that’s an individual bias. In MY experience the single person was better FOR ME! I’m sure it’s different for everyone, so I wasn’t too happy with his generalization. And this applies to homosexuality. Maybe that is what is exactly best for a child, to be raised by two dads or two moms or one dad or one mom or an uncle or an aunt or grandparents. . . (you get the idea). Who am I to say what is right for any specific child? I may think and believe something with all the conviction in my heart, but I will never know what is best for a single individual.

Did everyone read “I’m Christian Unless You’re Gay”? (AMAZING article! It’s about love, not just homosexuality. READ IT! http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html/2/ ) Can I support that article and really say, “I’m Christian unless you have an opinion that I don’t agree with (and that hurts my feelings)”? No, I cannot. Though I don’t think he had a right to put that generalization on ALL homosexual couples and ALL single-guardian families, but he does have a right to share his opinion. I can be pissed about the way he said it though. Seriously? Serial killers? WTH?

So what CAN I do? . . . Love him. Love the people who raised him. Love the people he condemned. Love my roommate even though we don’t agree. Love the “normal” couples that tried to raise me but left the scars that make me believe single guardians do it way better. Love homosexuals. Love heterosexuals. Love the people who hate me, who don’t understand me. Love the people who hate you, who don’t understand you. Love myself. And love every single one of you and hope you have the power to love and forgive this guy.

Song Of The Week

This song is very personal to me. When I was coming to terms with my grandmother’s passing, I was very angry at the man who was charged with her death, my grandfather. I felt I was in the right to be angry at him, to hate him for taking away the woman who had taken care of me throughout my childhood. But I didn’t want to hold on to that hate, so I forgave him. Sometimes when I write him in prison, I wonder if my grandma feels betrayed that I still love my grandfather. But I think she would be proud of me to be able to move on with my life. This Thanksgiving was hard without her, but she knows that I love her and will see her again someday. So this song is for her and for him and for all of us; may we learn to forgive those who have hurt us and just let it be.

Let It Be —Across The Universe cover (Beatles original)