When She Found My [Unused] Condom

It could have been the death of me.

It could have forced out the facts about my sex life I've kept secret.

It could have called into question larger issues with me.

It could have strained our relationship.

Instead, I laughed about it.

What else could I do?

By now, the condom should not surprise anyone.

Because she already knows about me. 

But for very many, the condom is the death of them.

My privilege made it not be.

But different lives and identities means different situations for everybody.

Damn, though, I've come far. 

For a Woman to Be Fully Informed

I've been hearing/reading/seeing a lot about contraceptives and abortions.

Maybe some of you have heard about Obama's mandate for contraceptive coverage (if not then check out the link HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, or HERE) Basically, Obama's plan is to require free insurance coverage for birth control for women. Apparently religious freaks (excuse me, fanatics...ahem, I mean...um...people...??) feel like it's a violation of their religious freedoms to be required to supply free coverage for birth control. I can only imagine what these people's views are...Probably that sex is for baby-making only (oh, and that it's the MAN's choice about when sex will happen, even though he'll most likely be a fucking bastard and leave the woman alone and pregnant with a child that SHE will have to take care of). Hmmm. There was not a single WOMAN on the witness board (take a look at the 2nd HERE), Representative Carolyn B. Maloney, Democrat of New York, asked: “Where are the women? It’s outrageous that the Republicans would not allow a single individual representing the tens of millions of women who want and need insurance coverage for basic preventive health care services, including family planning.” Why ask a woman? It's not like she's going to be the one AFFECTED by it at all.

I love a good war against religion. They're pretty devastating in the minds of religious people...probably because that's the only place they occur...

What really pisses me off about this whole thing is that these religious dudes say that it violates their religious beliefs to provide affordable contraceptives for women, or for insurance companies to provide free birth control to women--because sometimes these religious organizations have to provide insurance coverage for people (I've never heard of religions doing that, but okay, whatever). It's not like women are REQUIRED to USE the birth control. If a woman is religious and believes all this bull shit about birth control then she doesn't have to use it! What these priests and rabbis and bishops or whoever are trying to do is keep their people trapped in their stupid little religious rules. News flash, religious dudes, your ladies are going to have sex anyway (whether it's forced on her by some jackass like yourself who thinks he can run other people's lives or of her own free will). And damn, if these religious guys have their tighty-whities in a wad over contraceptives what in the world do they believe about ABORTION? Would they rather have women aborting their babies than simply using contraception and preventing those fetuses from even developing a tiny bit? Or maybe they'd rather have impoverished, single mothers struggling to take care of their children alone (because we all know few men are going to stick around to take any responsibility).

Now, if that isn't enough to tighten my jaw and make the hairs on my arms stick out all crazy, there's some law being considered about trans-vaginal ultrasound in Virgina, Texas, and Iowa. People are lovingly referring to it as Government-Sanctioned Rape. You can read about it HERE, and if you think that's already biased then maybe HERE for the bill.

(Taken from the 1st HERE)

During the debate Republican State Del. Todd Gilbert said:

“the vast majority of these cases [abortion] are matters of lifestyle convenience.” And, 

“We think in matters of lifestyle convenience and in other matters that it is right and proper for a woman to be fully informed about what she is doing.”

I agree with this statement by Todd Idiot Gilbert in one aspect. It IS right and proper for a woman to be fully informed about what she is doing--about sex, and her body, and the consequences of not using birth control. Every person ought to be informed on sex, and their bodies, and the consequences of not using birth control. But most importantly, I think that everyone needs to be taught that sex is NOT BAD. Once people understand this then it won't be a huge fucking issue about rape and abortion and STDs. People need to be informed about the feelings in their bodies, about healthy ways to release those energies, about how to respect other people, and more importantly oneself in every aspect--including sexuality.

Okay, sorry to get all political over here (not really sorry). And, to you religious people, I don't hate YOU. I just hate your religion, your beliefs, and you know, your ideas that it's okay to let women get fucked up and then make them deal with the consequences alone. :)

Rybread Wisdom

What it Takes For a Woman to Be Fully Informed: one word--COMMUNICATION.

This means that a parent who has a daughter will tell her that once she hits puberty she's gonna want to dry hump her pillow sometimes, and baby, that's OK. Not only is she going to start bleeding from the lack of egg fertilization (aka not being pregnant), she's gonna have white-ejaculation-stuff (great words, eh?) come from her vagina to lubricate it--BECAUSE OUR BODIES ARE MEANT TO HAVE SEX!

This also means that in health class (and at HOME) teachers and parents don't just talk about how she can get pregnant from having sex some-odd percent of the time. They talk about what her options are, and they need to tell her that celibacy is fucking HARD (I mean not-fucking hard?), and that if she chooses that route then good for her, but remember she still has the option of masturbation (and her pillow) and her sexuality doesn't have to be killed and locked in a closet. They need to talk about options for if she's gonna have sex, because let's face it she's gonna have sex at some point! and she shouldn't go into blind and uninformed. There are all kinds of contraceptives--condoms, the pill, the patch, those awesome things you insert into the vagina that latch onto a man's penis when he isn't supposed to be in there. . . The important thing to remember is to be prepared for it. If you're gonna have sex, make it an active, thought-out choice and protect yourself. Why don't we teach this in schools? Why don't parents think to tell their kids about this MAJOR part of LIFE? I don't have the answer to that, but I think it's time to change it (and maybe dance about it).

Pride

I went to Pride for the first time today.

The parade was long.

And it all wasn't as fun as I expected.

Sure there were lots of people to look at.

And I finally found a nice = sticker to slap on my water bottle.

I know that homosexual is a term often used to categorize people's sexuality, but I felt like there was too much focus on SEX.

Men all over the place walking around in Speedos or boxerbriefs.

Too much PDA.

Condoms thrown out during the parade (which the children picked up!).

Don't get me wrong. I'm not overly prudish.

Or maybe I am.

I just don't think that my sexuality needs to be on display for everyone.

I've been to parades to honor pioneer heritage. And people dress up in thick pioneer dresses and bonnets and they pull handcarts down main street. That's something I can be proud about. My ancestors (or at least someone's) crossed all the crummy middle states (no offense to anyone) to get to gorgeous Utah only to find huge black crickets, a nasty salty lake, and sagebrush. People DIED while making that trek towards religious freedom. Towards life without persecution.

I've seen parades honoring the birth of my very own nation--The United States of America. People crossed the ocean when it took weeks to do so. They fought in the Civil War and the Revolutionary War. People worked together for freedom. Religious freedom. Freedom of Speech. Great people worked hard and wrote some fabulous documents that established the foundation of a whole nation, which they hoped would reach the world--the idea that every person is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That's something to take pride in.

Now, a bunch of people marching in high heels and speedos while tossing out condoms...

I realized something today. I'm not proud. I love activism. I love being who I am. I love the idea of loving who I am, and being proud of who I am. But I am not proud to stand with my fellow gay Utahns who shove things in people's faces and encourage each other to go kiss on Temple Square just to show the Mormons that we do whatever we want. Not once did I see a Mormon protesting against the Utah Pride celebrations. Someone please let me know if they saw anything like that. I'm not proud of flamboyancy, or too much PDA, or anything bordering on nudity. I do not like to see condoms thrown out at children--where is the pride in that? Life does not revolve around sex. If that's what it means to be gay or to be lesbian, then I have no pride.