Some Unintentional Advice

My dad came to visit this week. It reminded me of where I get my personality from. We're like two weird peas in a pod...except that he's a large man pea and I'm a small girl pea. We spent most of yesterday and today together and we talked about all kinds of things. I don't really talk about my personal life with my dad. It only became easier to not share when I moved halfway across the country to attend school. But on the off-chance that we do talk on a personal level, I've never regretted it.

I've had problems with not liking myself since I was a kid, when I realized the other kids thought I was weird. When you're ten being weird is not a good thing. It only escalated in high school when I realized I liked girls. Of course there were a lot more things before that and in between and up till now that added to this feeling, but for more than half of my life I've wished I was someone else...anyone except me.

While I was with my dad today I told him about some of the things that I've been through. Things he didn't really know about before. I asked him if I was crazy, or weird. Without missing a beat he replied "oh yes, of course...but there's nothing wrong with that". Paraphrasing the next hour or so, he told me that we hardly ever choose the things we go through. And afterwards, given the chance, we would never choose to go through them again. The things is, everything we go through and have to deal with makes us who we are. We learn and use what we learn to help others, or maybe ourselves later on.

Everything I've gone through has shaped me into who I am. To tell the truth, despite my best efforts, I haven't changed much. I'm still weird, but I'm beginning to love that about me. I'm happy when I'm me. I've started to love myself...ALL of myself...and even if I had to go through all of this, being me isn't that bad. No matter what you have to go through...love yourself. You are worth it.