I don't believe it matters what gender stereotypes you fit into. I don't think that determines who you are or your sexuality. Your personality is going to have a much stronger effect on what you like to do than the gender roles people try to put you in. I think gender is important, but not in the way that many people consider it. There's a big difference between gender and the roles the society assigns to them. Because of this belief, I don't think it's okay for some parents to decide that their baby is "gender neutral". I love being a girl! But I'm not going to change my personality to try to fit a mold because I'm a girl or because I'm a lesbian.
Growing up, my brothers and I have never really fit any mold. It was seriously something like this...
I had this baby doll once. It came with a little stroller and a crib and all sorts of stuff. My younger brother used to take that baby around with him everywhere. he would feed it and change it and push it in the stroller...the works. Now he's a giant baseball player. I like to wear pants (no dresses), have shorter hair, build stuff, watch things explode, play sports, go camping, and watch movies where some ass gets kicked. I know a lot of people would say that it's because I'm lesbian, but it's much deeper than just my sexuality. (Me and my brother are very different, but somehow we both still ended up liking girls). Both my parents have been the stay at home parent before, and both have had jobs to bring home the bacon. Both of them love to cook, camp, wear pants, clean the house, and take care of us kids. They're just who they are.
I took a friend to a USGA meeting once and we got on the subject of "looking back, how could you NOT know you were gay?" In the third grade I threw a fit when we had our section on medieval times. We were supposed to do a play and the only real role for a girl was a peasant or a princess. I argued until I got to be the only girl knight (I still have the sword)! On the way home she asked if we thought that if fitting in those stereotypes was what made us think we were gay. I was confused my her question, but I realized that she is the same as I am (in the list above) but is not a bit gay at all. What you like, how you act, and the way you dress are all parts of your personality, not your gender.
People have tried to put me in boxes my whole life. They categorize me as a woman, as a Mormon, or as a gay person. When it comes down to it though, we're all human beings, not boxes. Hobbies don't have genders. Being interested in shopping or wood working does not influence who you're attracted to. I love being a woman, and I love being attracted to women too.
But I often wonder
- Have you ever wanted to change yourself to better fit a stereotype or gender role?
- Why do the roles and stereotypes even exist?
- Do you think there's a statistically significant difference between the amount of straight girls that can change their car brakes and the amount of gay girls who can? If so, why?
But seriously folks...
Gender Rolls are SO Delicious! :D
~Bridey J
HAHAHAHAHA. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI love the post.
This was my favorite part: "Hobbies don't have genders. Being interested in shopping or wood working does not influence who you're attracted to."
THanks. Also, I want some of those gender rolls. yum. those rolly people seem a little androgynous to me...just sayin.
Also, I changed my own brakes once (with my dad) and it didn't turn out so well...although, I think that's only because the brake line cracked and leaked brake fluid all over the place all the time and I had to fill the fluid like every day! Maybe I could change my brakes...
Also, I've totally tried to fit stereotypes before...I'll just have to think about when and why.