One freezing winter day after a stroll around the duck pond, Addie and I sat trying to figure out what we could do for the rest of the day. I threw out a bunch of ridiculous ideas, and then said "Le'ts play strip poker!" I don't know how to play poker. Neither does Addie. But we do know how to play Go Fish. And Monopoly. And Scrabble. We came up with some simple rules for our own games and changed the names of a few of them. One of our favorites is Go Strip. We vary on the rules for this one, but tend to go with the one that if the other person gets a set of 4 then you have to take off an article of clothing. Or for Stripple (scrabble) the other person has to take off a piece of clothing if you get a word longer than 3 letters, and they have to take off 2 things if you make a really good word--like fuck, zebra, or wanderlust. Basically it makes getting naked a fun process (not that it isn't already), and it really spices up board games and card games that can get pretty old and boring sometimes. It almost always turns into a giggle fest for me and Addie, which is why I love it so much.
Intimacy is meant to be enjoyable and to bring two people close to each other in a very important and unique type of relationship. I learned this from my parents. However, it seems a lot of people have very different ideas about intimacy--such as the way that Addie's family approached it (basically that sex is meant for baby-making and that hugs and kisses aren't appropriate anywhere anytime). Building a relationship with Addie has been a scary process for both of us and we've had to re-adjust to each other and learn to speak each other's language, but we've found that an important aspect of our relationship is keeping intimacy fun--whether that means playing Go Strip, or having tickle wars, or pretending we're strangers who just met in a bar... I don't have a lot of time to get more in-depth with what I wanted to say, so I'll leave you with some
Rybread Wisdom: PLAY. loosen up, have fun, and maybe play a game of strip poker (or whatever your favorite game is). sex/nakedness/intimacy does not have to (and NEVER should) be serious/obligatory/painful.
First of all, I love duck ponds. Second of all, I CAN'T wait to play "Stripple." Third of all, I think you make several valid points. We all need to take steps back and have fun, let ourselves relax, and take in the scenery. We also need to remember that intimacy is more than sex. Intimacy is an opportunity to share yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally with someone you love and care for. Anyone can have sex, but to make intimate love is reserved for those you truly love and cherish.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you , MJ. Intimacy is SO much more than sex. It's taking a walk around the neighborhood. It's laughing together. It's crying together. It's scrubbing the kitchen floor together.
DeleteHehe. "Stripple" is an awesome name and this post made me giggle. Wonderful thoughts on the importance of intimacy (and fun) in relationships! I'm definitely looking forward to that as well.
ReplyDeleteit's funny how I always read the comments but I don't usually comment myself... so... I love how you talk about intimacy, it's more than just sex. And as for the lds/sex for baby making thing, boy do I hear you. I wasn't raised a mormon but from what I get at school it's not something they really talk about. I'm taking a human development class and when my professor started talking about sex everybody just blushed and shut up. It was hilarious. Anyway... I digress. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteReally all I have to say to this one is AMEN!!
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