Monday Bluuuuuuuuuues, I’m Gonna Getcha Good

There are two women who stole the heart of my childhood self: Leann Rimes and Shania Twain. And while the 4 year old me self-identified with Rimes’ "Blue" (or at least her ability to hold the note), it was evident to everyone that I connected most with Twain. Indeed, her cassette tape (90s child and proud of it) Come on Over was on constant repeat in my mom’s car. “Honey I’m Home” became the first song I recall enjoying in its entirety. It is no wonder that my love for all things Shania has lasted through the years. But it was only this morning that I truly understood how long Shania and I have lasted.

I will not pretend like it is easy for me when my exes move on and meet someone else. Thanks to Facebook and being an active social creature, I have been around long enough to witness every ex boyfriend, date, crush, and hookup move on to someone else. And the majority of these exes share one thing in common: they move on to something bigger and better, or at least more serious and long lasting. The trend has not been broken with a recent ex, who mentioned to me the idea of us turning serious a mere month ago. But to log on to Facebook last night and see his status as in a relationship with some other guy was upsetting, to say the least. Cue feelings of inferiority and emo-ness, and preparations for a life as an old cat lady.

When I awoke this morning, I felt no different, until I decided it would be best to blast some Shania on the way to school. Indeed, Ms. Twain (and more importantly the shuffle feature on my iPhone) blessed me with “Today is Your Day,” her most recent (and not well known) track from 2011. What burst through my earbuds was this:

“You just gotta make up your mind//That today is your day”

In that moment, I realized it was up to me to turn my mood around. I could allow other people and events that do not involve me to bring me down, or I could choose to make the most of the day I had been given. Soon after that decision, I realized something even bigger: just because two people are labeling themselves on Facebook as in a relationship, does not mean that it fits my schema of what I want in a relationship. It does not indicate that their bond will be as fulfilling, gratifying, or solidified as the one I aspire to have. Therefore, when I get envious of others, I cannot say I’m envious of their relationship, nor can I let it affect me and deem me fundamentally unable to ever fulfill the role of a boyfriend for someone, somewhere.

Seems like Shania is still the one I run to…

My Funny [Problem With] Valentine

To be honest, I’m not too fond of Valentine’s Day. It’s not even because I get to watch privileged couples flaunt their love and relationship in front of my face. No, it’s because I really do not see the point in going all out to show your love for someone on one specific day of the year. Annually, I wonder why more people can’t treat everyday like it’s February 14^th. Who’s to say that on some ordinary day, a day with no holiday or celebratory significance, I can’t do something special for the person or people I love just because I love them? Add in the capitalist element of cards, flowers, chocolates, expensive dinners, and Valentine’s Day just seems like a financial expenditure. And didn’t J.Lo sing about how love doesn’t cost a thing?

For the single population, Valentine’s Day is another reminder that we must find a romantic partner so that our cats, ice cream, and television aren’t the only things keeping us company at night. The abundance of speed-dating events and other activities on this holiday seek to eliminate the single population. But to be real, I would rather curl up with a warm blanket, dessert, and an intellectually stimulating documentary than meet a crop of failure guys who cannot stimulate me in any sense.

However, there are 2 perks of Valentine’s Day:

1    1). Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the shape of hearts. Yes, these are exponentially better than the eggs at Easter time, trees at Christmas, or the pumpkins at Halloween. If love had a taste, it would be these.

2    2). Plans with my best friend. This is the third year in a row that we've done this. The tradition started when she broke up with her boyfriend 2 years ago, just a few days before Valentine’s Day. I suggested we go to a fancy dinner together for February 14^th, and the tradition has since stuck.

For those of you out there feeling alone this week, I want to say sorry. Sorry that life can be unfair sometimes. Sorry that you have to go throughout Thursday thinking about whoever broke your heart, or whoever is no longer present in your life, or when you’ll have people in your life who you care about and cherish. If you’re lonely or bitter, keep your chin up. I discovered this video a few years ago. It articulates everything I wish I could, and so eloquently too.

Tanya Davis' "How to Be Alone"

How the Grinch Survives Christmas

“I-iiiiiiiiiiiiii don’t want aaaa lot forrrr Christmas”

I groaned, ignoring the “what’s your problem?” looks from the people in that coffee shop. Admittedly, even I had to check myself. I mean, it was only November. And it was the first instance of the holiday season where I was hearing Mariah Carey’s popular “All I Want For Christmas is You” (though now my count has reached the 30s, all thanks to radio and department stores).

And that’s when I knew I wasn’t feeling Christmas this year.

Jingle all the way? More like whining all the way as I went about my December activities. Not even shopping or donating to a homeless shelter could lift me out of this funk. It got so bad that I even began to sympathize with those melodramatic tales from people not having that “special someone” to go do December-y things with: gift shopping, hot cider drinking, snow frollocking, and ice skating. Typically, I respond to such lamentations with a big LOL and a “that’s ridiculous.” But this December, as I put on my happy face and thinking cap to buy presents, it took all I had to bite my tongue and withhold cynical points of criticism at the slowpoke couples standing in my way of that last scarf.

And as I went about December, I couldn’t help but wonder if other people were experiencing the same thing. Are there others who don’t like the holidays? Do the typical December activities turn off some? Is loneliness a widespread feeling during December? How do people get into the spirit of the holiday season?

Now, with it being Christmas Eve, I feel resolution as I sigh relief go and realize I have made it through the holiday season. Now comes the easy part: nom nom-ing on delicious food my parents make and unwrapping the clothes I helped cast as my presents in the production of Christmas Day.

But as soon as Mariah starts singing next November, will I be in the holiday spirit?