my coming out by e

My coming out can be summed up in one Youtube video, from my favorite show, found here (please watch it or nothing I write will make a hellva lotta sense)

My whole adult life I had been with men too.  I had liked having sex with them, even enjoyed some of them.  But it wasn't until I kissed a woman, had sex with a woman, fell for a woman, that I felt alive!  That is not to say that men I had been with weren't wonderful, caring, loving men.  They just weren't for me.  The women that I have been with, they have been glasses.

I love women and want a girlfriend.  Whenever I see pictures like this it makes me want to fall in love with a beautiful blue jean femme who loves to work outside, ride horses, read, drink wine, take long bathes, go hiking and camping, has long hair... I want to fall for a beautiful woman and be in love with her and her with me for a long long time.

I am a non-straight, bi-pan-queer female who wants a girlfriend.  Maybe I'm not ready for her right now, but I want to meet her someday, when we are both ready.

living out by e

I've been afraid of my roommate finding out that I'm not straight, so I try not to link my blog to my Facebook, and I try not to say anything "too gay" around her.  Well today, while watching Erica Hahn and Callie Torres make out on Grey's Anatomy, and cheering at the touchdown (side note: I love that the narrator mentions "Which team are you batting for" right as they kiss hahaha), my roommate asked me, "Are you bi?" For a second I thought that I had misunderstood her, so I pointed at myself and asked, "Me?"  She nodded.

For a split second, the world stopped and I thought of 100 different outcomes.  She could take it well.  She could freak out.  She could run and hide.  She could kick me out.  She could take it well THEN freak out.  But I am SICK of living in the stupid musty closet.

So I nodded.  That's all I did, I nodded.  She smiled and said, "That's cool.  I'm not freaked out or anything.  My bestfriend, not *****, but another one, she's bi.  I think a lot of people are bi these days, like it's the cool thing to do."  I laughed and said, "Yeah, I've got a theory about that." And told her how I think that VERY few people are a solid 0 or a solid 6, that almost everyone, under the right circumstances and with the right person, could go either way.

So now I'm out of the closet. Again.  The only person I was worried about finding out has found out and hopefully everything will work out okay.  So here's to hoping! *raises flagon, then chugs*