They Crowd My Head, These Thoughts.

Today, swirling around in my mind:

*Classes start today. I really dislike this.

*3 weeks was not a long enough winter break, especially when compared to last year's month long winter break.

*If I can't fit in, I'm going to do everything in my power to stand out. 

*I just wanna be in warm pajamas in bed with Netflix, the best lover that there is.

*This world is so incredibly flawed and backwards, most of the time.

*Too many things on my to-do list and no idea when I'll be able to accomplish any of them. 

*Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

*Why do all the nice, good hearted people get trampled on and shoved into seclusion as the cruel minded and cruel hearted people move up in social graces? Why can't good people come out and play so I don't have to deal with a-holes?

*Will things ever get easier, or at the very least more manageable?

*This quote:

"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what
we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being
alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive. That's what it's all finally about ..."
- from Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth

*This song:

When a Donkey Teaches You About Life

A message from my professor with an announcement for class, 40% off my next online purchase, and – gasp – there it is: the dreaded forwarded chain email. But while they may be incredibly annoying, the sentimentality and cheerfulness of some chain emails are often too sweet to ignore. And I’m not referring to the “email this to 10 people or your grandma will lose a bone in her leg” emails. I’m talking about the ones with loving words and life lessons, accompanied by pictures of kittens, blooming flowers, and smiling suns. Anyone who denies the feel-good nature of these emails may be questioned on the existence of their own soul.

One of these emails was too good for me to pass up. Remember that no matter what the trial, it will always make you a better person.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! 

MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

I am currently in finals recovery: the period after taking final examinations where my brain is too fried to do anything but lounge, eat junk food, and watch tons of Netflix. Hope the rest of you are staying warm, dry, and happy!

It's Like Riding a Bicycle...

It was as if someone took a hammer to my kneecaps. I could feel the stinging scrape on my elbow. The cold, wet street pressed against me. My backpack, weighted with textbooks and my laptop, kept me face down on the ground. After riding a bicycle to and from class for two years, I never managed to have any serious bike accident. Even a fender bender was rare for me on the bike path. But no matter what my experience or skill, it could happen to anyone, myself included. And that night, it happened to me.

I didn’t think about any of this when I flew over the handlebars of my bike, however. Instead, I thought, “Get up. Keep going.” And I couldn’t have been on the ground for more than ten seconds before standing up, picking up my bike, and riding the rest of the way home. Sure, I was sore all over and scraped up, but I had no choice; I had to get home.

Weeks later, it amazes me that I was able to get up so quickly and continue home to write a paper, as if my accident was no big deal. Why can’t all problems I encounter be similar to this incident? In emotional matters and conflicts of the mind & heart, why can’t I just “get up and keep going?” What is it about my physical body that makes it much more capable of overcoming struggles than my mind and soul? Are the tangible me and abstract me different in this regard?

What I do know is this: On that cold, rainy night, I could have chosen to stay on the ground. I could have cried, thrown myself a pity party for everything wrong in my life, my accident and the rest of the mistakes I’ve made, how this would ruin my night and the days following it, and remain in the road until I didn’t want to deal with the approaching cars. Knowing me, I very well might have done so. Instead, I bypassed all of that. I told myself to get up and keep going. I think the same can be said for any other issue in my life. It has become increasingly apparent to me that everything is a matter of perspective. While we may not be able to change the events life throws our way, we can control how we view them and respond to them. And maybe instead of falling into emotional slumps, I need to “get up” and “keep going.”

PS: Thank you to the car of bros who asked if I was okay. I am, and will continue to be so. :)