Tuesday, January 14, 2014

back in the closet by E

As previously discussed (here) I am not heterosexual, but rather I like girls AND boys. I came out to my family and all of my Facebook friends last June and it was great! I could post and say anything I wanted to without people thinking "isn't she, is she??" and I could be myself.  Well, I've moved to Wyoming for school and am rooming with a girl I just met face-to-face for the first time yesterday. I am back in the closet.

Because of the hetero-centricity of American society, a non-hetero person has to come out to every new person they meet.  So meeting new people puts me back into the closet and that's a place I don't want to be.  But by coming out, even though I'm relieving the pressure on myself, I may be causing the other person distress.  Like this new roommate. I could come out to her and it could go well and there could be no issue.  Or I could come out to her and she could see me saying "hun" or "darlin" to her as me coming on to her.  She could be afraid to use the same bathroom or dishes as me.

Coming out to someone challenges their perception of their self.  They suddenly look at themselves and wonder if they ever did anything that might be construed at flirting, and they wonder if you've ever come onto them. And I can't handle doing that, and trying to deal with that in my roommate.

So...this is Wyoming. They don't exactly take to non-hetero ways of thinking- actually any non-conservative, white bread way of thinking. So what are people gonna think of my liberal, green party, non-hetero, irreverent way of thinking. And talking. And acting.

I'm so worried that I won't be able to make friends that are my type of people.  The loud, out-spoken types that like to laugh and have fun but know about social justice and fight for those who don't have it.

Should I risk the connections that I could have those I have to be around- my roommate, my teammates- for the possible ones I might make?


  1. Wait, what are you doing in Wyoming?

    1. Going to school...again haha -E