Today I feel humble. I don't know why you should be reading me when there's so much else available. Thank you.
When I run in the mornings I listen to a podcast called The History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps, and I've caught up to the first century AD. A couple of recent episodes have talked about Skepticism, and the discussion resonated with me. I don't have the energy to reserve judgement about everything (as recommended), but when it comes to Mormonism, that strategy has worked for me so far. Friends and family gush that it's true or it's false and I just sit here saying "Maybe." Then I go on with my life as seems best to me.
For the past handful of years, 'best' has been to pick the general principles out of Mormonism while ignoring its major claims to authority. My Mormons would say that that's a gutted version of the religion, that I'm missing the most important parts, but I wonder. I've never understood why a prophet would be necessary, or baptism. Or temple ordinances. To me, those have always seemed like ornamentation, superfluous to the main thrust of perfecting the people.
Recently, though, I've been wondering if I need to pay more attention to Mormonism's claims of authority. For whatever reason, my idea of 'best' has cracked a bit and needs shoring up.
It's a scary prospect, reevaluating things like this. What if as a result it seems to me that Mormonism is true in its entirety? That would suck. It would cut apart my plans for a family. It would mean dealing with vapid Sunday services again, and losing a tenth of my money. But it seems at least as bad to continue as I have been just because it's comfortable and not because it seems best. In fact, that's a caveat to my belief that (if Mormonism turns out to be true) God will forgive me my unbelief--that my intent was good. I think the belief that everything will be alright in the end can be dangerous, if it lulls us into complacency.
So sometime soon, when I'm employed again and not living with my parents again, you can expect to see me wrestle some thoughts out on here. I imagine I won't come to any conclusions about truth or falsehood, but I hope I'll be able to build up my understanding of what I think is best.
Apropos of nothing, but laugh-out-loud funny: How I Became a Hipster