Sunday, November 10, 2013

I Got Out ("It's All Alright" -Fun)

This is my first time writing on a blog..... Ever. I wish I could say that I had some clue of what I was doing here, but in all honesty I don't. I'm not usually an open fact if you were to ask anybody that knows me they would tell you I was the exact opposite. With that said I am trying to be more open and what better place than here. I don't know where to start or how to introduce myself. So I'll start from where it gets Interesting. 

It was October 8th 2013. Five days after my 25th birthday. I remember waking up that morning with no hope. Like every ounce of happiness and ability to rationalize and look towards a better future had been stolen, robbed in my sleep. I sat in bed that morning and contemplated the question William Shakespeare so brilliantly approached in Hamlet. "To be or not to be". I don't remember much after that thought. Looking back I can remember choosing to take my life but I don't remember the selling point. The straw that broke the camels back. What I do remember is waking up in the hospital with nothing. No feelings towards anything or anybody. I remember being overwhelmed with emotions of  helplessness, loneliness, being scared, mad, confused, and yet....I felt nothing. I remember the looks on my family's faces as they stood over me asking me questions I knew I wouldn't be able to answer. However, of all the things I remember...the one thing that sticks out is remembering the relief that over came me as I came to the realization that I had been given a second chance. At that moment the deciding factors to take my own life did not seem relevant or important. At that moment I knew things were going to change. That I was going to change.  That day I cowardly came out to my family. At the age of 25 I was finally admitting who I was. Not only to myself but to family. To make a long story short my family was nothing short of supportive. My Mom is constantly reminding me of how happy she is I "Got Out" and strangely enough that's how I feel. Like for all these years I had been trapped in this mindset that nothing could make me better. That I was broken and worthless. After years and years of battling with myself I can happily and proudly say I GOT OUT! I have never been happier and though at times I feel down, nothing is as worse as feeling nothing. 

My name is Jaimee. I'm 25 years old. I am mormon and love my religion and I'm a lesbian. I came out one month ago and if I have learned anything from my experience its that "It's All Alright". At this point in my life I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I guess through all this rambling and mess what I'm trying to say is we are in this together.... and it will be alright. 



  1. All I feel I can do is encourage to live one day at a time, except love and support where it is offered, and well...just hang in there. There may still be difficult things to overcome but there will also be good things happen too. I'm glad you are still alive...Adon

  2. Wow. What a story! I'm so glad you're here, Jaimee--and I mean that in every way. I'm excited to read more of your posts.