Sometimes I feel like I forget about this concept of how life is RIGHT NOW.
I get anxious and totally excited for my life in the future. For my amazing self-owned business where I teach people how to love themselves and eat the best damn food the earth can offer. I forget the beautiful things around me right now. Like the blind man who rides the trax and gets off at my stop every morning and how without fail someone is there to help him. I've seen him around and I'm pretty sure that he knows exactly where he is going--people without certain active senses tend to wind up with really enhanced senses otherwise, and he knows his way around--but that doesn't detract from the amazing concept of humanity. How we see someone who we think needs our help and we just help them, no questions asked.
Utah is especially dreary in the winter--though it has been very lovely recently!--and I have a hard time of it. The pollution has really gotten to me this winter. It is bad every year, but this year just seemed like the WORST. I'm ready to move away from here.
And there I am back at my point. I am waiting waiting waiting for the day when Utah will allow gay marriage and equal rights. The day when I can get out of Utah and explore something else. The day when I am successful and happy and relaxed and awesome.
But when I think about it, despite the few things I can't change, the present moment is pretty fucking rad. I am successful in a lot of areas--my goddam beautiful relationship for one. I'm a pretty good dog lover; I mean I can throw a ball like no other and slobber doesn't bother me one bit. And, while I'm always thinking that later I will be happier and awesomer, right now I am pretty fucking happy and relaxed and awesome.
So, here's to being grateful for my right now moments. For the good that I'm doing now. I'm grateful for my relationship--for the prettiest damn girl in the world. And I'm grateful for chewed up tennis balls and Mr. Bootsy Wootsy. I'm grateful for trax rides and bling guys and smiles from strangers. I'm grateful that I don't live in a cardboard box or wrapped in plastic grocery bags.
RyBread Wisdom: If you appreciate someone, then tell them that you appreciate them. Not saying the good things makes you look like a complete asshole, and mostly, if you don't know how to say the things that matter--like that you appreciate someone--you end up becoming an asshole in the long run. Be brave. Tell someone thank you.
I like that last paragraph: "tell them". I think that is a hard concept to internalize because a lot of people believe in two things: the certainty of tomorrow and the idea that saying it isn't needed, that it's already known.
ReplyDeleteRy, I like your writing and am glad that you are back