Tuesday, February 4, 2014

perception by E

I am a cisgender female, which means that I am a female by sex and I identify as a female.  In short, I'm a girl.  I prefer female pronouns, like her and she, and I like to look like a girl. But I don't have a very elaborate or fancy wardrobe.  I am also not a girly-girl.  I'm allergic to make-up and hair styling products and even if I wasn't, I think there are better things to do with my time, like read.  But lately I have been afraid that I have been coming across as boy'ish, or dykie.

I wear boots and jeans and old thrift store sweaters.  My hair is almost always in a braid or ponytail, and stuffed under a hat of some kind.  I was told the other day that I come off as the dominant one in a relationship.

I don't want to be the dominant one, I want there to be a trade off between me and my girl, or boy.  I don't want to come off as a dyke... I want to be seen as femme, maybe blue jean femme at the least.  But how do I do that?  Should I invest in better clothes?  Should I find make-up that I am not allergic to?

But what about my already stretched budget?

Money sucks.  And so does figuring yourself out...that sucks too :(

Oh well! What can I do to figure out how to make my outsides look the way my insides feel?


  1. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They're not you. If anyone wants to put you in a box then tell em to fuck off. You know who you are and what you want to be and that's all that matters.

    Do what you want, but personally I don't think any girl should wear make-up. It makes them look hideous. I want to see what a person truly l looks like. And, I hate the patriarchal-ness of make-up.

    Don't get me wrong here. I am cisgender. I was born a girl. I enjoy being a girl. I even own a pair of high heels. But generally, I wear boots and vans and chucks (most of which I find at the sec on-hand stores). I like Tegan and Sara and girls and t-shirts. Some people might see me as butch or dyke, but I'm still a girl. And I enjoy my feminine qualities.

    Stop being afraid and just love who you are. Be confident in yourself and don't let what other people think or perceive of you change your clothes or your behavior.


  2. I think this is a problem some of us not-so-girly-but-neither-a-tomboy girls often face when we learn how other people see us. I personally don't care what anyone thinks, as long as my clothes fit me and are confortable! :)

    So, I have to go with Ry here - don't let people put you in boxes, make your own or live outside of one! ;)

    Keep up the good work!