Sunday, August 14, 2011


This weekend one of my best friends got married.
I hung around outside the temple waiting for her to take vows and make covenants and such.
She wore a beautiful white gown complete with a veil.
She and her husband looked gorgeous and happy.
A billion pictures were taken.
Then a luncheon.
More pictures.
Then a reception.

With cake.
And ice-cream.
Music and dancing and laughing
and boredom.
There were presents and family and friends and small children running about.
A lot of people were stressed out.
Some reminisced about the time when they were still young lovers entering an exciting journey together.
Some were bitter that it's not their turn yet.

I kept thinking, I will never have a wedding.
I love traditions. I really do.
But, I also hate them.
I hate how weddings have to be so stressful and expensive.
I love dressing up--because I don't do it very often, but the
re's something about wedding attire that is very different from dressing up to look damn good (not that I don't look damn good in anything...).
My favorite part was the shoes.

Even if marriage is legal (in 7 states right now) I don't want a wedding.
And here's the thing, I don't even know if I believe in marriage.
Is that a weird thing to say?
Of course I believe that it happens (obviously my friend just got married--that makes a marriage). What I mean is, I don't think I value marriage.
A fancy wedding. A large amount of people I may or may not even remember.
Gifts I probably don't want (unless it's money).
Stress. Stress. Stress.
And when it comes down to it, a marriage is just a piece of paper saying that your love is official.
But of course it isn't really because we have this thing called divorce. Another piece of paper that says your love is now officially centered more on hating each other :)

I value commitment. I value relationships and love.
I think that there are other ways to show commitment and love and fidelity.
If ever I come to a point where I want to share my whole life with someone, I think we'll come up with a way to let each other know, and maybe even to share it with others. But it won't be a wedding.

I suppose I must add something about the legality of marriage. Because that piece of paper does mean a little more than official love. It means health benefits and joint taxes and all that other stuff I don't often think about. Marriage is not a religious thing. It is just a government thing--it's a ploy to get people to spend all their money.

Anyway...I'm going to come up with some better ways to celebrate love.
Let me know if you have any good ones.

~live your own truth~

1 comment: