Sunday, May 29, 2011


A few of the other bloggers have mentioned their parents.
I decided that I wanted to say something about mine.
I'm lucky.
My parents are wonderful. They have their issues and their moments just like anyone. But when it comes to my being lesbian, they couldn't be better.
My mother is the most loving woman I have ever met--and I've met a lot of very loving people. She doesn't judge. She doesn't complain. And she will never abandon her family for any reason. I know that my situation (being lesbian and mormon) worries my mom a lot. She knows how hard it can be to go to a church where people have very strong opinions about certain issues. She knows how hard it is to live in a culture that isn't very good at accepting and including people who are different. But she also knows what her true religion is, and she practices it despite what others say or think.

I wish that everyone could have a mom as great as mine. She has told me that no matter what happens in my life, and no matter what choices I make, she will always love and support me. If I choose to marry a woman, she will support me even if it means going against what the LDS church says.

My dad doesn't like or really believe in gayness, but he's reached a point in his life where all he can do is love and accept his children because everything else takes too much effort. For a man with terminal lung cancer, he knows how important it is to cherish people right now rather than get angry at them for being lesbian or whatever else. When we talked about it he said that if this were twenty years ago he'd beat me till I was straight. If I'd come out to him twenty years ago I'd have been 2 and I don't think it would have gone down very, I'm glad I didn't have a clue back then. Other than that my dad has been really good to me. He likes to joke around. Any time my lesbianism comes up he likes to say that he's lesbian too because he likes women.

I'm grateful to have such good experiences with my family. But I know that other people aren't so lucky. I don't know what to tell you. But, if you're the family member I'd like to say that it's okay to have your own coming-out process so to speak. Everyone does. The most important thing to remember is that being gay doesn't make anyone different--they're still the same person. My advice is to love. Don't let anything get in the way of love. And, I don't know how much I believe in "tough love" anymore. If "tough love" pushes family or friends away, then it isn't worth it.

All you need is Love.

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