So I had written something mildly morbid and a bit personal and didn’t really want to share it. But I couldn’t think of anything light and happy and I didn’t really want to say something light and happy anyway so here’s my slightly depressing blurb for the week.
So I go to therapy. People do. And I’ve been learning a lot from my Shrink but what it has really done is to help me recognize when I learn things on my own.
Here’s some more back ground info. I was suicidal. Still kind of am but not in the “I’m about to go by a gun” way but more of the “I think about my death way to often to be normal” way. And it really freaked me out because two people in my family have committed suicide and I don’t want to.
But sometimes I just feel like I have no control over my emotions. So I go to therapy.
But I had a mini thought the other day and all the crap above this is just prelude to that… I don’t want to die. I was driving down a slick mountain and I WAS TERRIFIED. And it occurred to me if I was really afraid of my death then I obviously can’t want it enough to commit suicide.
So there’s my thought for the week. If you ever consider killing yourself, go out, get scared out of your mind, and maybe you’ll realize that fear is a just a warning for our survival; if we are truly scared, we truly want to survive.
Glee- Get It Right