And actually, this deadline pressing on me to post today fits in perfectly with how annoyed I am with deadlines today. They stifle me creatively. They rush me. They make everything so pertinent and impending that I can't deal. A deadline for a history paper due today coincided with a deadline for a post I was working on for today. And I couldn't complete my post for today, so that will have to wait until next week. But I still have to post before the night is through...it's all just very stressful.
It's been a very tough day.
I will say this: I feel as if I'm continually on the sidelines of life. Like I'm the coach. Like I'm pumping the players up to go play and live their lives, and I remain on the sidelines, never getting to play for myself. Only a support to all those who need it. In terms of Lana Del Rey: I belong to no one, but belong to everyone.
But maybe the sidelines has some benefits. That's what Demi Lovato has me thinking lately. Her music always resonates with me. And her new single "Heart Attack" has done just that:
"Puttin’ my defences up
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack"
Now excuse me while I go eat my first proper meal of the day, unwind, and gear up for classes tomorrow.