This Such and That Forth

So, here's a short anecdote from my own life. This last week my roommate was complaining that no boys had come and asked her on a date (we were doing this thing in my ward where they were supposed to, so it made sense). It was supposed to be just a little fun date, nothing serious, so I told her "If you want, I'll take you on a date". She looked at me with this look that has grown so familiar to me and has come to say 'Bridey, I'm still not a lesbian', to which she added "I love you, but it just wouldn't be the same". I pulled my best sad/hurt face and said "I tell people that all the time, but no one believes me". I'm not quite sure why, but this was instantly hilarious to both of us and had us holding our sides in laughter. I love my roommates, and I love that we can have these moments.

Afterwards we talked about it a bit, how the situation would be the same, just with different people. Just as going on a date with a girl isn't really her can of olives (if you will), going out with a boy is not something I get excited about either. There have been other times in my life where I've been asked to explain to someone how I feel towards women, because they cannot understand, as the idea is foreign to them. I've heard people compare it to being born with a mental illness--in that I did not choose this for myself, etc. Recently I heard it compared to someone who is predisposed to become an alcoholic...they have these temptations and desires that they should just ignore, and may sometimes need help getting over. I believe that neither of these (and others I'm sure you've come across) are a good way to understand gay feelings at all. The only way that I can see it, and have used to explain it to my friends, is that it's exactly like the feelings they have for boys (or for girls if they are my straight guy friends). The only difference is who those feelings are for. If it's the same, think how hard it would be to be told that you have to be with, and marry, the gender that you're not attracted to. Most of my friends say that they don't think they could do it, or at least not be happy doing it. I've found it helps people be able to put themselves in shoes they never thought they could. Being willing to see things from someone else's point of view is the key to understanding and finding compassion, and that's for any situation, whether that be one's sexuality, religion, culture, politics, personality or just general way of reacting to life (this goes both ways). The point is loving people, even if we may never understand them.

~Bridey J