Friday, March 23, 2012

Dear Home,

Dear Home.

I miss you.

I miss the way we would watch the news, you in your blue chair and me in the leather one. I miss your red shag and kitchen words carpet. I miss naps on the couch. I miss the kid’s tables and the grown up table. I miss sitting at the bar, playing rummy, listening to Dixie chicks. I miss sharing a coke. I miss wood smoke. I miss how hot it would get with the heater and the stove going. I miss having my window open, listening to the people walk by outside, unaware. I miss the bridge I would cross to see them. I miss the field we played games in and slept under the stars during the summer.

I miss you.

I miss trips to Mario’s. I miss going to get a shake then going to the lake. I miss sitting on the porch swing with you. I miss going to Winco and buying more than you wanted. I miss bike rides to the park. I miss walking over to your son’s house. I miss drives to Clatskanie and Seaside, the radio blaring and Sugarland when we lost reception.

I miss it even when I shouldn’t.

I miss the fights. I miss you losing everything and blaming it on someone else. I miss the drinking and the drugs. I miss the yelling. I miss the adventure. I miss the pain, the tears, the emotion. I miss being hit and hitting you back.

I miss being real.

I miss being home. I miss my family telling it like it was. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere, knowing my place.

I miss “home”. I miss the time when things didn’t pretend to be perfect. You faced your shit and got over it. You told it like it was. You fought, you screamed, you threw a punch. You drank, you smoked. You blasted the music to drown out the pain. YOU DIDN’T PRETEND TO BE PERFECT! And I miss you so much.

Everlast- What It's Like


  1. Dupree, this is by far my favorite post I've read of yours! I love the honesty, the candor, and the raw emotion!Thank you!

  2. Dupree, I really love this post. Your details and emotion are beautiful. I like the part about not pretending to be perfect. Thank you for sharing this.

  3. Beautiful post, Dupree. Poetic and honest.

  4. ditto to everything that's already been said. this is very poetic and raw and honest. what a great post.

    I think it's especially powerful because I can identify with it (and impose my own experiences onto it). I don't think I really ever realized how much the church and that culture becomes an act--pretending to be perfect--unitl I got to BYU. I'm glad that even though I grew up Mormon, my family has always been authentic. And, sometimes I missed the real-ness of home.