Thursday, March 29, 2012

If the Shoe Fits


Since Monday, when I read the post on MJ's personal blog (which you can read here), I've been thinking about the shoes in my life and it seems only fitting to explore the ideas that have been wandering through my head.  MJ talked about the concept of walking in someone else's shoes to gain understanding and how that's not really possible.  My brain went a different direction.

I got thinking about how shoes come and go.  When old shoes wear out, I get new ones.  New shoes generally need some breaking in, taking a bit of time before they feel really great and don't rub me wrong.  And once they get to that point, I LOVE them.  I love shoes that fit just right.  Generally my shoes last a long time (even though I'm really hard on them, with all the hiking and running and climbing trees that I do), but eventually they wear out, becoming either uncomfortable or non functional, and the cycle begins again.  I have some shoes (like my chacos) that have been around forever.  Other shoes, like work shoes, don't last so long.  Sometimes I get a pair of shoes that I try really hard to like because they are cool or something...but no matter how hard I try, they never reach that "comfortable" place.

Now maybe there are some holes in this metaphor (give me a break....it's midnight), and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, but it seems to me that the shoes in my closet are a lot like the different things I've tried out in my life.  Hear me out...

I once tried to be a teacher.  I taught English, history, art and music to a bunch of 9th graders.  I truly loved it in a lot of ways and could have continued doing it, but something about it didn't fit for me.  Those "shoes" didn't quite fit, even though they looked damn good.

Another time I tried on the "engaged" shoes.  There was nothing nice about those shoes.  It was like I was wearing these awful heels (and any of you that know me well know I would never do this) that would look really great on a lot of people, but not me.  I kept twisting my ankle and getting the heel stuck in every porous surface around.  In the end, I got rid of those shoes seconds before I almost tripped over them and fell into an oncoming bus, narrowly escaping a nasty, nasty end.

I used to have a pair of shoes that lasted for a really, really long time, carrying me many places.  These were my "religion" shoes.  They were really comfortable for a really long time.  But then I started to outgrow them and they felt more cramped and suffocating than anything else.  It was time for a new pair.

For a long while I wore the "musician" shoes.  Those shoes were awesome, and they, too, fit really well for a while.  I could run faster and jump higher in those shoes, and everyone loved them.  But again, they soon became uncomfortable.  I still have them and can put them on if I get a hankering, but I don't wear them very often.  Mostly they live in the closet with my instruments.

Sometimes things just fit.  Sometimes something feels so right that you can't help but be excited about it.  Sometimes I get new shoes that I love and I want to wear them all the time.  Other times, I hate them.  But just like shoes change, so do my life circumstances.  If I tried to wear the same pair of shoes my entire life just because they were comfortable, refusing to change when I outgrew them, I would be left with nothing more than smelly feet and ingrown toenails.

So this is my reminder to myself this week:  Things change, and that's okay.  It's more than okay.  It's awesome!  If a shoe doesn't fit, I don't have to wear it.  On the flip side, just because something feels right and fits really well at one point in my life doesn't mean it's always going to stay that way.  And refusing to change your shoes...stinks (bahahaha!).

Love and growth and change (and new shoes) to all of you,

Jo

14 comments:

  1. Love the metaphor. And the irony of it having holes...like shoes have holes...maybe just my shoes? ;)

    I can't imagine you in heels...and I'm really really glad you escaped getting hit by the marriage bus because, well...you know. Heels are probably the worst invention ever. But, I admit I like to wear them every once in a while. Mostly with that one outfit. You know the one, pretty woman.

    Thanks for the great post, Jo.

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    1. I love you both. So much. My marriage heels were 6-in leopard print stilettos. I tried them on twice and tripped over them both times - fortunately that happened before I hit the oncoming bus, too. I think next time I'm going to go for red hooker boots. Thoughts?

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    2. MJ - let me know when you're ready to shop for those red hooker boots, and I'll go with you. You would look fabulous in them!

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    3. Count me in on that shopping event. And MJ, I think you'd look awesome in them. :)

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    4. I just Googled "Men's Red Hooker Boots" at work... Not my brightest moment... Oops.

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    5. Tif...I like that one outfit. ;)

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  2. I think I need to write a post about loving you, Jo. It would start, "Jo, how I love thee, let me count the ways..."

    Mostly because you elevate me and so many others with your beautiful words.

    You are so much better a life than me, you make me jealous! Not in the bad kind of way, but in the way that makes me want to better myself.

    I love your metaphor. A lot. I'm thinking, though, that I must be going through a recent growth spurt. Every time I look down I seem to be outgrowing my current shoes. Whether it's religion, or work, or friendships, or family, or whatever, there are always new pairs waiting to help replace the old, broken ones. And that is far better than trying to wear old ones that no longer fit.

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    1. I highly support posts about loving Jo. :)

      And, in your own words, you are a Renaissance man, so of course you're going to have a lot of shoes (literally??). I remember a time when I went through a lot of shoes really fast and nothing seemed to fit and I felt frustrated and like I nothing was right....Just wait it out. Or maybe we're not meant to stay in one pair too long. Personally, I would be bored silly if I had to wear the same shoes for too long.

      And there's nothing wrong with going barefoot for a while....just sayin.

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    2. Meh. I wish there was a way to edit posts so that I could fix my errors, such as the extra "I" between "like" and "nothing."

      Whatever.

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    3. And by "posts" I mean "comments." Good hell. I think I made my point.

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    4. Bahahah. I understand and completely agree!

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  3. I love this post, Jo. I used to think that I would figure myself out and arrive at a destination. But life isn't static. It's nice to know that it's okay to throw out the shoes that don't work anymore. Sometimes it's hard to let go of those old stinky shoes and exchange them for a pair when you don't know how they'll actually feel. Okay, I'm obviously not as good at the shoe metaphor as you are, but you know what I mean.

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    1. I love that thought, Tiffany. In my experience, trading in your old, comfy shoes for new ones often comes with a lot of "what if's." What if they don't fit as nice? What if my family and friends don't like them? What if they wear out too fast?

      There's always that uncertainty, I think. But really, we can never be sure. Good thing we can get a new pair if we don't like them, eh? :)

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  4. I get what you are saying here. But my (ex) closest friend and biggest role model wasn't like this at all. She has had the same "pair of shoes" her entire life and is completely content on staying the same. I used to think that I had to quickly decide who I was and be that way for the rest of eternity. Thankfully I am realizing that this is complete and utter bull shit and your post just reiterated that point to me so thank you so much for reminding me it's okay to grow out of pair of shoes and find new ones :)

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