Monday, November 21, 2011

Funeral and Fiction

I wonder what it will be like when we can categorize all of the different kinds of genders and sexual orientations that are out there, across cultures. The author in me says that it will likely be when we've gone across the stars, gained more knowledge than we could ever hold in our minds, and lose all sense of fear, humanity's first god.

I just went to a funeral for my name-sake grandmother, and there were some awkward jokes and words about those of the not-heterosexual colors. It made me wonder of what it would be like if I was completely honest with them with how I felt--bisexual in orientation and neither male or female in gender. It also reminded me of a science fiction piece I had intended to write that involved axes of evaluations that determined (up to around forty) different types of gender, ten majorly known sexual orientations, and even more lingo for races. I may start up on it again to process more feelings about it all. It's about a woman with a more masculine gender perspective who had a wife killed in a terrorist attack.

I've also felt very distant from most people as of late. I've lost most of my friends over the past year, especially since graduating. I can count all of the people I can go to for close friendship on a hand, as opposed to all of my digits. Granted, I did push some jerks out of the way, and that has included people involved with those jerks. Loneliness is a jerk too, but I can't push him away.

I must tell you this though, Tamarack State Beach? It's one of my favorite places in the world, and earlier this morning, I got to go. It's been almost exactly two years since I've seen a beach, and that was in India when I last went.

Everybody stay ruthless for your truth.


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