Let's make a bunch of little stories really quick.
First, an old FHE sister of mine keeps asking leading questions about whether or not I'm gay. But, frustrating to probably both of us, she won't ask the question directly and I won't answer the question.
A different old FHE sister of mine talked to me about how much she hates the church's view on homosexuality and she's so glad that I've given her details about my half-asian. (But really, it wasn't much).
I was home with half-asian when one of my roommates walked in on us causally holding hands. I'm only 60% sure he saw us... but, regardless, he didn't say anything.
A different roommate asked about who I'm dating (it's obvious that I am, with all the valentine's day prep). I just said someone from Salt Lake and he asked "who's the girl?" and then quickly corrects himself and says "or guy. I'm openminded." Still not sure if he knows or was just making a joke.
My final roommate must know I'm gay. After all the flirting me and half-asian did last semster, I'd be almost disappointed if he didn't know.
Dupree's roommates know.
All my old roommates know.
Everyone I worked with last semster knows. Hell, they even help plan some of the dates that I went on.
Everyone I do game nights with knows.
Everyone from Aspen Grove knows.
A whole apartment full of females from my ward know. (You tell one, you've told them all)
In fact, I'm pretty sure at least half of everyone I associate with know that I'm gay. I think I'm more out of the closet then I once thought.
And I think I'm okay with it.
I'm comfortable with myself. I now realize that Utah culture has far more sub-cultures than I thought. People seem to instinctivly know who not to tell. I mean, yes, I know there is still risks. But I don't think it is as risky as I use to think.
I'm still not going to wear signs around campus or tell people I'm dating a man. But what I will do is surround myself with only the best people there are and continue on, being me. Sometimes being who I want to be, but mostly, just being me.