What to write about on a day like today? Politics? Music? The effects of singing ballads to your house plants? The weather??
Yes. The weather.
(This is totally what my life felt like today)
I work at a hospital in a department that is tied directly to the operating room. As a result of today's weather and all the accidents and trees flying around we had an abnormally large amount of emergent cases which resulted in me not having a spare minute to even breathe. Not one. I didn't have time to eat my breakfast. I didn't have time to fill up my water bottle or sit at my desk to stretch my legs. I didn't have time to take 5 minutes and have one of those little chats with my coworkers that means nothing and yet everything. All day long people were making demands of me, their stress coming out in the way they communicated. "We need this ASAP!" "So and so didn't do this, so we need you to." "I don't care how you get it, just get it." "Send this up now!" Everything is an emergency in the OR. Everything. Run, run, RUN!
But I don't like running. Not like that. I'm a soul that needs to do things at my own pace, on my own time. That is not to say that I am not fast or efficient, because I'm a damn good worker, but days that are as fast-paced and stressful as today don't jive well with me. I left work feeling defeated, tired, ornery and completely worn.
Now, five hours later, I sit at this computer thinking back on my day and about my crumby job and how much I hate it and the awful weather and guess what emotion I am feeling the most? Guess??
Deep, intense gratitude.
I am grateful for the one scrub tech in the OR that said "thank you."
I am grateful for the OR director who took the time to tell me what a great job I do.
I am grateful for the little leaves that, with the help of the insane wind today, found their way into the hospital, reminding me that there is life out there and inside me.
I am grateful for the friend who sent a text to check up on me and make sure I was biding the weather well.
I am grateful for my coworkers with whom I can exchange laughter throughout the day, keeping my heart light.
I am grateful that I am not one of the many people who needed emergency surgery today.
I am grateful that, when I got home after work, I found that the beautiful willow tree in the courtyard (my very, very favorite) was still standing.
I am grateful to have people in my life that I feel connected to and with whom I can share my stories.
I am grateful that I have friends who, at a moment's notice, let me come stay at their house because my heat and power are out for a couple of days.
I am grateful for love. For deep, real, soul to soul love. For friends with which to share that love. For hugs, kisses and hands to hold. For "I love you"s. For hearts that understand the things I have no words for. For souls that can feel the depth of my own and let me feel theirs in return.
Tonight I am just one thing: