Friday, February 24, 2012

It's Where My Demons Hide

So I just got back from Las Vegas. It was nice to get away even if I did have a pile of crap to sort through when I got home. But while I was there I had a few good conversations with my best friend. Now I love this girl to death but we are pretty much polar opposites.

So we are talking and she is telling me about how she finally got something that she wanted so badly but then everything kind of fell to shit. So I told her to focus on that one good thing and let everything go… A voice crept into my mind right then… “hypocrite.” WTCJ (What The Cracker-Jacks… it’s gonna be a thing)? How am I a hypocrite? Then I thought of this vacation I was on. The sun was so beautiful and I was having a lot of fun with a bunch of people I’d never met before but every once in a while I would just cringe thinking about how I did something really stupid (and embarrassing) to a friend. (If you are reading this I am soooo sorry). I thought, well this is what you wanted right? To be in beautiful southern Nevada and just chill…? THEN FREAKING ENJOY IT!

So anyways I was being a hypocrite but moral of that story enjoy the good things, let the bad pass you by.

New story, same best friend. I told her that I was just soaking up the sun. She said she wanted my life. I said You have three people who are crazy in love with you, I want your life. And I thought to myself, she’s miserable right now, even though she’s got people beating down her door. Why do I constantly think that if I had someone to love, my life would just instantly be better? I’m so pushy and forward because I keep thinking that if someone just likes me I’ll be happy. But that’s not true, she’s not happy.

Moral of this story, a man isn’t going to make me happy; I need to be happy before I find a man.

Anyways… I’d write more but I have to finish cleaning for cleaning checks and get up in seven hours for work. I love ya guys and I hope you enjoy my ramblings,



So I was going to play On Top Of The World by Imagine Dragons but YouTube doesn’t have it! Shame! I’d tell you to look it up but I don’t know where else you’d find it. Anyways… amazing song. It was my theme song for the trip. But this one works too.

Demons- Imagine Dragons


  1. Love your ramblings! And your thoughts on being happy are beautiful. :-)

  2. I totally empathize. I am a RAGING hypocrite when it comes to this. I have it pretty good but I am always convinced others' lives are better than mine. Who knows, maybe they are, but until I start fully investing on making mine the best I can, I really SHOULDN'T complain.

    1. MJ, can you please stop swearing. It hurts my soul. the S word is probably the worst there is.

      I agree that it's important to invest in yourself and love yourself. But don't let anyone else's ideas of what life is restrict or direct you in how to live your own :) ...basically, I'm saying if you want to complain, then complain.

  3. Dupree, I really for some reason was expecting that line to say: "Moral of this story, a man isn't going to make me happy; I need a woman."

    ...but, the way you ended it was good too...I guess ;)

    I like your plan to let the bad pass and to enjoy the good--because they're always here. Today has been a particularly hard one for me to remember the good things.

    I'm so glad I'm done with things like cleaning checks :)