Sunday, February 12, 2012

Silence Has No Place In Love-Making

I thought I'd start off in a similar vein as I left on last week.
Sex. Intimacy. Love-making.

I found this cool post, which actually you should ignore because it's hella confusing. Go straight to the comics at the bottom because they make a lot more sense.

I liked the idea of giving positive consent and it reminded me a little bit of when Addie and I started getting a bit more intimate. It seemed like we were both really quiet when things got more physical and we didn't ever say anything. This bothered both of us. But it's hard to talk about sexual things, so we kind of just let it slip through the sheets until one of us (and I really can't remember if it was me or her) mentioned something about it. We both agreed that we wanted more feedback. We wanted to know what worked, what felt good, what didn't feel good, what could we do better/different/more often???

Once we opened up a line of communication it felt a lot more comfortable to be close in almost every way. We both made an effort to say something as simple as "That felt really good, babe" if we liked it. Or, "Damn you're good at that." One of my favorite's that Addie is so awesome about is telling me that I'm beautiful. I love hearing her say that. She tells me a lot, and I still can't get enough of it.

Rybread wisdom: If you ever get that feeling in your gut telling you to speak up then do it. Especially if it's got to do with the one you love. Just say something. Say it. Your relationship can't go anywhere, can't get any better, can't flourish unless you actually talk about things. It's hard sometimes to bring up sensitive issues, but those are the ones that need to be talked about the most. (Just a note: I joined this blog because of the breaking the silence theme/idea. Probably most of my posts will be about communication in some way. It's that important.)


  1. I think you're spot on. Not just in terms of communicating during our most intimate moments but also in the mundane moments we experience day in and day out.

  2. nice post. I'm always one for more communication.
    I'm with MJ in adding that it's not just in those intimate moments, but everyday things that communication is important. Thanks for the wisdom. LOVE the Rybread wisdom piece every week, btw. ;)

  3. Make that three of us. Communicating is SO important, not only with the one you love, but in general, and not just in intimate moments (though that is often the hardest time to communicate) but everywhere in between. It's how we get to know each other, how we share our feelings and stories, how we learn to open ourselves up and be more honest, both with ourselves and with others.

    Great post, Ry.