Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Dupree Hits Me. Yes, This Is A Cry For Help

One thing needs to be set straight, and it’s not me. Yes, I’m gay. Yes, I’m going to BYU. But the only thing that needs to be set straight is the fact that Dupree does hit me. Not that I don’t deserve it mind you. I do deserve it. But still…

Anyways, I’m a gay BYU student who is afraid to stand out in the crowd. My job is to work with 5-6 year old kids and, well, have fun! Want to talk about the ideal job? I get paid to work with first grade kids all day! And as such, I get to see several things about Mormon kids that may dispel some myths. First, one of the activities that I get to do with my kids (I usually get groups of 15 or so) is making flags. I would have thought the most common things that my kids would draw would be the American Flag. Nope. It’s a rainbow.

Obviously, the kids don’t get the symbolism for the rainbow. They take their flags and wave them everywhere, not thinking about anything else. So… what does this mean? KIDS HAVE TO BE TAUGHT TO HATE THE RAINBOW. They aren’t born hating it, even if they are Mormons.

What is BYU’s biggest problem with gay people? It seems to me that we act like dirty stained glass windows at BYU. Yet, unlike stained glass window’s, we can’t be cleaned. We are a little more permanent. So is that the problem? BYU can’t stand that they can’t change something? Irony, since BYU’s biggest problem seems to be their inability to change…

Now, I’ve been very lucky to have all the roommates at BYU I’ve had thus far. One guy was Georgian (accent and everything) one guy was British (yes, he was VERY popular with the ladies) and even a roommate who’s twin I dated. So yes, very lucky. But now I have a roommate that I have a hard time respecting. We get along great. We both play similar board games (even if I always win) and just have a lot of enjoyable “bro time.” (DO NOT judge me for using the word bro. It was the best way to phrase it.) But, on the first day that we met, he told me his goal was to get married within a year. Given, he had just come off his mission, but still, he was a freshman and THAT was his only goal. I can’t stand people who are THAT desperate to get married.

However, even with my roommate’s desperation to get married, the one thing I have the biggest problem with is that he PROFESSES how much he can’t stand gay people. I’ve never been put in this situation. He doesn’t know I’m gay, thus we get along great. So, what would he do if I told him? Is our relationship fake? More importantly, should I tolerate living with him for another year, or, just as worse, another month? Should I tolerate that type of environment? Hmmm… Questions to be solved another day.

Side Note. I'm going by "Lee" for the blog.


  1. Do I call you Lee or BradleyLee? And I only hit you cause i freaking love you! So glad you're finally here!

  2. I love your post. Some of us are teaching our kids to love rainbows :). My hope for your roommate, is that his friendship with you will help him realize that he doesn't hate gay people. Whenever you decide to tell him, I hope that he will realize that he really likes you, and is already friends with a gay person. Maybe it will change his world view a bit.

  3. I agree with Tiffany. His "hate" was probably taught to him rather than something he just developed. This might be a potential learning experience for him (and you). Still, I wouldn't stay in a harmful environment, if that's what it is.

    Glad to have you on the blog, Lee! Can't wait to read more and get to know you better.

  4. Woot! Another bro on the blog! I am excited to hear more of your story and more of your insights!

    I agree with both of what Tiffany and Jo have said, take care of yourself and if he is truly your friend his eyes will be opened and your friendship can be strengthened.

    Good luck, dude. Keep us posted!

  5. Yay! I'm excited to have you, Lee. Love the cat picture :)
    And I hope things go well with your roommate.
    I had a friend (practically family) say to her son, "we don't hang out with gay people". This was during the very beginning of my coming in process and her comment made me so afraid to come out to people. When I came out to her two years later she didn't take it very well. She avoids talking about it. And I'm not sure how she feels about the gay part of me so to speak. I know she still loves me and we still keep in touch (though she doesn't ask about my amazing lovergirl, which makes me a little sad).
    Good luck! and thanks for the great post.