Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Ed u mah ca shun for the Nay shun

Education for the Nation

I have this great friend, my best friend ever.  The length of our friendship happens to almost be the entire lifetime of other bloggers here.  That makes me super duper old. ;)
My best friend happens to be on a soul work journey across the U.S. in a motorhome.  Sounds odd, and frankly I thought so too at first, but she is happy, and finding some of herself she had lost in the act of living. 

So this friend, on her journey was at a bar recently and a story evolved.  I’d like to share it here cause it’s poignant to who I am.  To who we all are.

Friend is sitting at bar with gentleman she met earlier in the day.  They are enjoying drinks having conversation when the topic turns to politics, GASP, (anything but THAT).
No really, it did, even with out me there to steer it that way ;) Friend is talking politics, I’d like to say she’s well spoken and educated on the topic, but I’m biased.  Gentleman has steered the conversation to gay marriage.  (Side Note: my friend is straight, has never swerved from that path of straightness and is recently divorced from her husband of 12 years). 

 Gentleman sure is a long word to type so I’m switching it to Guy, please don’t take this as a lack of respect, it’s not, just laziness.  So Guy states that gay people shouldn’t be allowed to get married.  He believes it will ruin marriage and the institution of marriage if the homos (my term perhaps not his) are allowed to wed.  Friend indulges his train of thought and allows him to continue.  Guy continues on down this windy and very rocky path for a bit.  Then he states that Homo’s having children is wrong and unhealthy for the children.  He believes that children suffer in these types of relationships.  Friend continues to listen.  Damn, I know, she’s so incredibly patient.

After listening for a bit longer my Friend happens to pull up pictures on her phone of none other than YOURS TRULY, me.  Oh, and my happy bundles of joy, otherwise known as my children.  She proceeds to show off my little family, minus Tiff.  After a few photos she asks Guy what he thinks of the photos.  She helpfully steers his answers with questions like “do these children look happy” “does this family look like a family” To these questions Guy answers “yeah” “ they look like a typical American family” “the kids look happy and taken care of” “this is just the type of family he thinks our nation should have” “happy wife and kids” “lucky guy” all these wonderful phrases about my cute little family continued.  Friend then stops Guy and states well those photos are of my lesbian friend.  Those are her very happy children.  She is divorced, from a woman, and currently getting remarried, again to a woman.  Her children are well taken care of and to be honest, this is where I get teary-eyed, “she is one of the best mother’s I know”. 

Guy stops talking and just sits.  Friend states that perhaps he should look at things from a different perspective and open his mind just a crack to the possibility that gays and lesbians can be good parents.  That gays and lesbians can raise children that are happy functioning members of society.  (Whether this is true for my own brood the jury may still be out ;) but they are only 8 and 6.)

Yes my friend is probably biased for my side of the story.  She is my friend.  ;)
Yet, there are many other people who think the same.  I meet people all the time who see me with my children and comment.  They assume when I say “ex” that I’m talking about a man.  They assume because I have children that I had them with a man.  They comment on how well-behaved and thoughtful my kids are.  Teachers tell me that my kids are the first to help, they always help other kids and that they genuinely seem to show compassion for their peers.  (what all this means I have no idea, I only know my kids)

So it is odd to me that people assume that my children are happy because there is this mysterious “ex” father who takes them 50% of the time.  This mysterious “ex” father who also lives 4 blocks away from me so that we can share our children as seamlessly as possible.  This mysterious “ex” MUST be a man cause if not the whole world would tilt on it’s very axis and every single thing we know would simply fall off the side of our flat planet into the abyss.  Oh, WAIT, someone already proved the world wasn’t flat a while ago!! Geez, the things we forget from our school days.

I have kids.  I’m a lesbian.  I had kids with a woman.  My kids have two moms and a step mom, say that fast, I dare you.  I have all girls no less.  I hope you feel bad for me when THAT time of the month comes.  5 women in a house with PMS.  I hope you had the courtesy to shed a least one small tear for me. Thank god for Costco! And Midol ;)

So this LESBIAN mother of three wants you all to know that:

Yup, I have me some kids.  Yup they might just be happy too.  Yup, it will all work out.  Even if you don’t want me to get married.  Even if you don’t think I should have had children.  I’m ok with that.  I’m ok with you thinking that about me.  I should warn you though, leave my children out of it.  They had no say in their family, unless you are LDS, Mormon, Then hell, you believe my kids CHOSE me.  WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER.  My kids CHOSE me! What a thought.  So, if you happen to believe this then I guess I’m just trying to give them what they paid for.

Next week stayed tuned for what those elementary school directories are really for and run ins of this lesbian mother of three and her local PTA. 

Have a nice week!


  1. Dah dah dahhhhhhh. I love the sneak peak at next week's episode! Also I love that you are a happy mother of three. Being a lesbian doesn't matter to you and it shouldn't to anyone. Love you and your friend for being such a staunch support! Muah to both of you!

  2. Wow this just made my bleak Tuesday morning so much better. And congrats to your friend. It takes balls to stand up to people (especially when you aren't the one directly being discriminated against).
    I almost want to say congrats on having a family. But that is like saying congrats on being normal. So congrats on living the normal trajectory of life (you know marriage and children and jazz) and not giving a damn that people somehow think that because of the sex of your wife is the same as yours it's not normal.

  3. MJ, Thanks. I am truly blessed for the acceptance of my friends and family.

    Dupree, Happy I made your bleak morning better. It's been rainy and gross all day so I was happy to hear I maybe shed some sunlight on someone ;) I never thought about my life as being on the normal trajectory. That made me laugh. Thanks for calling me "normal"