Marriage is the core of the culture of Mormons. You hear from twelve years old that you are preparing yourself for marriage. Men mainly get the "sexual purity" talk and how we should remain pure until marriage. And the mission prepares us for marriage. I think that's all we get until post-mission. Women get the whole "What is the point of life?" talk. (P.S. just in case you're not Mormon, the answer is marriage) The degrees to which this is emphasized on is different depending on your leaders. When my full-time working mother taught young women's, she came at this question with a bit more liberalism. But when some other, nameless people attacked this question... let's just say liberalism was a polar opposite.
Anyways, what needs to happen for the couple to get married? A wedding! As a Mormon boy who grew up in Mormon culture and knew lots of Mormons and had three Mormon siblings get married, I should be an expert at weddings, right?
Wrong. I was never allowed into the temple. I've legit never seen or attended a wedding. Never. I've been to ton of receptions, but never a marriage. Until yesterday, I though wedding rehearsals were something only in the movies (give me a break, I grew up with Mormon culture). If you are too young, you are not holy enough to see a wedding, even when it is your own brother. Even worse, if you are not in the church, you can't see someone you love get married. It is not allowed. You are excluded. And exclusion always makes things more sacred, so this sort of exclusion is good, right?
Never been to a wedding. I'm not holy enough to witness one. It sucks.
This is why I vote we do it the British way. Weddings must be public so anyone can attend. Afterwords (usually several weeks) people go to the temple to get sealed. And their weddings are just as celebrated, just as holy, just as sacred. And they don't demand exclusion. So... to the British way!
Yes! I was just listening to a podcast about this issue earlier today. There's no church doctrine saying the wedding ceremony and sealing have to be done at the same time; they're done separately in most countries outside the US. It's just a policy, and there's no reason so many people should be excluded from friends' and family members' weddings. The sealing can still remain sacred and meaningful even if there's a civil wedding too.
ReplyDeleteI agree. And you're not missing much.
ReplyDeleteLet's toast to the British!! Several of my friends have had their wedding in the temple and then a "ring ceremony" for all the unworthys. Lol Ok, so that's not what they actually called them but I think something about "not temple worthy" individuals attending a ring ceremony means unworthy people in my mind.
ReplyDeleteAmen to the British Way! There's a great post all about this and related issues on the blog _Pure Mormonism_, called "Why I'm Done with Temple Marriage," or something like that. You might enjoy it.
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