“I care about you for no good reason.”
Sometimes you just meet someone and you click. Sometimes you just become insta-friends. And sometimes you can look back and pin-point the moment when you both realized that you cared for each other. My friend R and I did that last night.
Here’s the thing. I had a crush on her. Before we ever became close friends I knew I liked her. Then one night I was sitting with Lee and he mentioned his blog post and she just piped up “I read the blog.” I’m not going to lie, I was shocked and scared. I didn’t know she knew I was gay. But she did. And was still sitting next to me on the couch.
That night we talked for hours and when she told me she wasn’t gay I let my crush go. Sure I was a little disappointed but it was worth it because I made a great friend.
Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been hanging out an awful lot.
But that one moment when you realize you care for them.
Hers for me was a few days ago. I was sick and accidentally fell asleep and was late for my shift. The shift coordinator knew we were close and asked if she had seen me and told her that I was missing. Her mind kind of freaked out and thought I went and off-ed myself. I didn’t. I was just asleep. But she was still worried and pissed when the coordinator didn’t tell her I finally showed up. When I got the chance I went and talked to her to let her know what was going on and then went home sick.
Mine for her was last night. I had spent time with two of my older friends and well it just felt wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them. But I’ve changed and there was a certain piece of negativity to them that made me feel off. And they just didn’t seem to understand me anymore. So she sat down on the other side of E and we were all just talking. As soon as she showed up I was simply happy. I knew that as soon as E would leave I would scoot over to sit closer to her. However when he got up she beat me to the punch and sat right next to me. I leaned over and told her “This may not make sense and seem kind of random but you bring good into my life.”
I guess it was just nice. After that I admitted that I had liked her. And apologized that people may suck and assume that we were together. Sure she isn’t ecstatic about that but she doesn’t mind.
Sometimes you just find someone and it works. With all the crap going on up here with everyone hating on LGBT’s (maybe I’ll rant about that next week but in case you have no idea what is going on check out Lee’s post) and me being terrified of being out, it’s just nice to find someone who doesn’t mind. Who still loves me even though that may bring assumptions on to her. Who seems to care about me for no good reason. It’s just nice to find a friend like R.
You want to know something odd? I don't have a song for R. Generally I have a song for everyone but I don't have a song that just screams R. One of these days I'll find the perfect song. But for now let's just go for this.
"You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound"