Monday, August 13, 2012


I moved across the country on Thursday of last week.

I ran around crazy all weekend buying things I needed for my new place and unpacked the majority of my stuff.

I started my new job today.

I feel incredibly overwhelmed.

I am tired.

I am an emotional train wreck.

I question where I fit in with my family - still.

I miss my friends.

I miss my boyfriend.

I miss feeling physically close to someone.

I miss, perhaps more importantly, feeling emotionally close to someone.

I can't sleep because it is hot and humid.

I am putting on a happy face most of the time but I generally just want to cry or sleep.

I don't need to go on antidepressants but I would really love a secret stash of Xanax.

I am angry at God and religion, you can read about it here if you want...

I want to love myself but I can't anymore (right now).

I sometimes feel so anxious while I'm driving, or at the store, or just sitting thinking, that I want to throw up.

I started a walking challenge today; I committed to walk 700,000 steps over the next 10 weeks.

I had to buy a pedometer this evening.

I cooked with wine this evening and made a semi-authentic Italian meal.

I realized how much I missed cooking (and alcohol).

I watched "Arrested Development" episodes and realized how much I miss legitimately laughing.

I got even more tired and realized I hadn't written my post for this week.

I didn't want to write today's post; the first time that has happened since I started blogging for this site.

But I did write it.

And I'm glad.

Here's a beautiful French blessing for you all:

My Wish for You - 

Comfort in your difficulties,
Smiles when frowns come your way,
Rainbows after rainstorms,
A laugh upon your lips,
Sunshine to warm your heart,
A hug when you're down in the dumps,
Friendships to clarify your journeys,
Beautiful things to see and ponder,
Confidence when you doubt,
Faith so you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept truth,
And a love to complete your life.


  1. I'm glad you made it here today! And that you made it to your new place. When you have time and brain power, I'd love to hear from you!

    1. Give me a little time to settle in, Sara, I'll be in touch. Love you!

  2. I miss you!

    I'm glad you wrote your post too...and not because I'm the moderator or whatever. Just because I like to know what's going on in your life.

    Love you!

    p.s. thanks for translation of the blessing. I was almost about to tell you that I didn't know french and probably wouldn't get the blessing... :)

    1. haha. Is that how it works?? You don't get the blessings unless you can translate it? :)

    2. I love you guys and I hope that you have all the blessings of this and every proverb and benediction!

  3. I love you, MJ. Big changes seem to come with a good share of exhaustion, and you've made a lot of them lately. Just know that even though you're really far away, you are still intensely loved. Love is cool like that. It can travel faster than the speed of sound and has x-ray vision.

    1. Thanks, Jo. I am especially grateful for the x-ray part - I need it to see through to my soul today! Much love to you!

    2. hmmm. I was thinking the x-ray part was a little creepy. Her love can see through your clothes to your boobies!...or you know, those things boys have...