I’m sorry I’m so mean to you. I don’t mean it. I actually think you are amazing… and cute, and funny, and pretty much everything I want. And I know everyone thinks I’m into your friend. But I’m not. I’m over him and really into you.
I’m sorry I flirted with the guy you liked. I should have backed off. You’re a great friend and I hope we will still hang out. Even if I am a slut. And still happen to flirt with/like him.
I’m sorry that you like her because I thought you liked me. But it’s been fun. Thanks for being the only guy I’ve been on more than one date with. I probably won’t ever see you again so have a good life.
I’m sorry she’d dead. I’m sorry I’m pissed at her. And I’m sorry that I envy her.
I’m sorry I could never figure out how I felt about you. I wasn’t trying to play games, I just never knew.
I’m sorry he would ditch you for me. You deserved better than that.
I’m sorry that I never took the time out for you and always took you for granted. But thanks for still chucking along.
I’m sorry you had such an immodest roommate as me when you were such a good quiet person.
I’m sorry he died.
I’m glad that by the end of the summer I got to know you better. You’re kind of hilarious and dorky and brutish, all things that I think are awesome. And I’m sorry you’re her lapdog. That must suck.
You’re not as good as us. And your best friend is a bitch who uses you.
You can do better than this guy. Don’t marry him just because he’s the first good Mormon that you’ve dated.
You deserved a better roommate than me anyways.
I’m still in love with you. So get the fuck away from me.
I’m not Mormon and I’m gay.
Thank you for your speech on children with disability. I almost cried I thought it was so beautiful.
Thanks for all the times you just let me leave, you always understood when I needed to go.
Thanks for pretending to pretend that you cared.
Thanks for calling me gorgeous and letting me rant.
Thanks for always talking to me when I really wanted to be alone… I think.
Thanks for hugging me three times since I told you I was gay.
Thank you for being such a great example of a gay mormon. I wish you all the happiness.
If you have sex with him then you are the biggest hypocrite that I know. Think of his family dammit.
I think you would make a great girlfriend.
I think you are cute and funny and sweet and like it when you are near me. Too bad you hate gays.
I don’t need you.
Fuck you, you FuckBag for being a worthless POS father.
The Fourth Drink Instinct- Cute Is What We Aim For