I seem to be the stereotype Mormon boy. Then you start talking to me. And you wonder... there's sarcasm, yeah, but a lot of Mormon boys have that. Then I start saying stuff that causally mentions condoms in my backpack. And people begin to wonder. Is he serious? I am. But of course I roll it off like it's a joke. So, they think it was for the shock effect. It was. But they also don't think I was serious. Then I play music like "Touch-a Touch-a Me." Then they really think I'm crazy. Espesially when the next song is "One of Us." (What If God Was One Of Us.)
The point is, I know myself in the Mormon world. I'm a seemingly good Mormon boy who keeps himself aloof because I treat myself as a silent outcast. I also say things sometimes as jokes, the shock effect kind. I've lived in the Mormon world for the past two years. Before that, in Southern Californian high school, most of my friends weren't Mormon but treated me as such. So, I know myself in the Mormon world quite well.
Then, last night, I found myself in a non-Mormon crowd, and this wasn't my world. Sure, I was slightly uncomfortable (like most people would be in new situations), but I found myself in a new world, the world I want to embrace. People who are not Mormon, good people and, frankly, real. This is the world I want to be in. And I don't know myself in this world.
Excited as Hell to get to rediscover myself in this non-Mormon world.
Happy rediscovery! :) It isn't all rosy on this side of the Mormon fence either, but at least obedience isn't the greatest of virtue and people won't try to feel you up for the underwear... That's gotta be pluses! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's plenty rosy over here. As far as my own story goes, I'm SO much happier on this side of the fence. But aside from that, I think rediscovering yourself in new circumstances, whatever they may be, is quite fun and extremely beautiful.
ReplyDeletePS I love that Joan Osbourne song (One of Us).
Good luck on this side of the fence. I am glad you have so much family and friend support to help you transition. Just make sure you are careful while at BYU. If you decide that you want to wash your hands of the school and transfer, make sure you send your transcripts at the end of every semester just in case there are problems with the Honor Code Office down the road. You wouldn't want everything you did at school to be locked up and unavailable... Take care!
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