Sunday, June 24, 2012

I'm Okay If You're NOT Gay

We all know how important it is to create safe spaces. To include everyone, and especially those who are generally cast out or unaccepted. Here on the blog we've made special efforts to reach out to our gay friends. To those who are any kind of sexual other than the "mainstream" widely accepted hetero.

I myself have held discussion panels to raise understanding for the gay community at BYU. I've shared my stories in various places in an attempt to promote unity and empathy. I made t-shirts specifically saying "i'm okay if you're gay" so people who think they're alone will know that someone accepts them.

My process of coming to terms with my sexuality, with my love preference, has been very hard and painful. I fought for so long to hide myself, to fit in, to be something I could never be. I hated myself. I caused injury to myself. And once I began to love who I am--really am--maybe I became too confident. Too okay with the gays. Alright there's no such thing as too okay... but maybe just too sure that everyone must be gay somehow.

A lot of the time I say things about how that person MUST be gay. Or how everyone has a little gay in them somewhere. Or, how can you NOT like girls. Or, gay boys are so much better than straight boys.

Most of the time I jest. But, I don't want to be guilty of the same kinds of slander others give the gays. I don't want to categorize people. I don't want to generalize everyone into being gay. I don't want to put anyone down for not being gay. Luckily, I have a gorgeous lovergirl to remind me that really, "I'm okay if you're NOT gay."

Here's what she gave me for my birthday:

For all you straight folks out there (or not gays...maybe some of you are not gay, but still not straight...), I just want you to know that there is a place for you too. That you're welcome as my friend regardless of your orientation or love preference. Let's all be friends. Love all around--for everyone (even the straight kids).

This is for my awesome straight friends who have always loved me (you know who you are). And for that one girl at the Utah Pride Festival who asked me if I was okay with her even though she's not gay (I was wearing my "I'm okay if you're gay shirt")--YES! Yes I am. :)

~live your own truth~


  1. I like this a lot. I mean, it's cooler because you're gay and all. But I'm sure I'd still appreciate it even if you weren't. Maybe.

  2. Awesome shirt. Thanks. I still have your "I'm ok if you're gay" shirt. If we ever meet up, we can both wear our respective "I'm ok" shirts. Hugs.

  3. I like this post. And you. And your shirt. It's all about love, really. Learning to love people for who they are, whatever that is at the moment (because I've found that, at least for me, "who I am" changes as often as Utah weather). Thanks for the reminder. And I agree. Welcome, all ye straight and gay (and everywhere in between) folks!

  4. I really liked this post Tiff. In the current social-political climate I sometimes feel like everyone has free reign to hate on the white conservative heterosexuals. Way to be. I LOVE your shirt.