As I strive to live my life more authentically and slowly drag myself further out of the closet one step at a time, I am beginning to see more about what my life entails (and will involve) as an openly gay man.
Frankly it terrifies me. I like to believe that I am strong enough and I know I have a phenomenal support system of friends who will always be there to support, sustain, and lift me as I need them, but it is still scary.
This weekend I experienced Gay Pride for the first time. There were many wonderful emotions but there was also the most terrible experience of my life. I saw the beauty of a world filled with diversity but I also lived my own personal nightmare and hell.
I am still reeling from an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the group of Mormons who walked in the parade and for many dear friends, but I'm also sick over the betrayal of someone whom I thought was one of my dearest friends.
I don't know what my life will entail. Hell, I don't even know what tomorrow will bring. All I do know is that I can relate to a beautiful sign that was carried yesterday during the parade, "If you want to see the beauty of the rainbow, you have to endure the storm."
I hope you enjoy this arrangement of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." It is one of my favorites. Much love to all of you and thank you for being you. You all inspire me in so many ways. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
All my love,