Sunday, October 14, 2012


I'm writing this blog post in secret at my house, waiting to eat my mom's birthday dinner. While driving here every Sunday afternoon, I always listen to "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. You can dispute her use of the word "Orient" as a white person, or critique her stated purpose to write a great gay anthem, but the song inevitably makes me feel better and gives me a little bit of confidence before going over here to be greeted with fast Sunday messages and statistics on why R rated movies are evil.

I also like to listen to Nicki Minaj's part in Kanye's "Monster," since it's super fun to drive down my neighborhood of people who attack me behind my back singing, "I'M A MOTHER FUCKING MONSTER!!" Alternatively, I like Muse's "Take a Bow," since screaming "YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR SINS" is equally cathartic in this neighborhood of rich white straight judgmental people.

I have a hard time loving people all the time. Of course, no one has to love everyone all the time--that would be impossible. But one of my personal beliefs is that trying to love everyone is better for you and for the world. As you can see from above, I have a hard time with that most of the time, and sometimes being frustrated can be just as valid and cathartic is being loving. But there are certain movies I like to pull out and watch when I hate everyone and wish the world would just explode to remind myself that people, sometimes, are worth loving. Here, in order, are my favorite movies to watch when I just want to love a larger slice of the world.

1. Lars and the Real Girl

The director's stated purpose in writing this movie was to imagine what the world would be like if someone who had a mental illness was treated nicely by everyone. A lovely, fabulous movie about relationships and kindness ensues.

2. 127 Hours

If you can stand a little (okay, a lot) of gore--and I almost can't, every single time--this movie is a fabulous metaphor about being impossibly trapped and overcoming against all odds. The movie is framed by shots of busy swarms of people; at the start of the film, I'm usually annoyed by the hoards of people taking over the world, and by the end, I look at them a little more tenderly. Of course, it's also a fascinating true story that makes the metaphor that much more solid.

3. Sunshine

Another film by the same director as 127 Hours. I can't really say why I love this movie so much--it's a lot less overtly optimistic than the former two films, but it does a lot of the same things as they do; it focuses on how much we all need the earth, nature, and each other, and ultimately highlights the triumph of humans working together to defeat evil.

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas

The main reason I love this movie so much is just because it's beautiful. It's gorgeous to look at. And sometimes we just need to look at gorgeous things and be reminded that people created them.

5. The Return of the King

For some reason, I waaaaay overidentify with Frodo Baggins, a fictional fantasy character from a made-up world. But Sam's selfless to devotion to this sad character makes me cry like a newborn baby.

In conclusion, sometimes the people in our lives are incredibly frustrating, and sometimes it's fine to rage and scream and tear our hair out, especially if something is hurtful and unfair. And it's never okay to quietly suffer abuse. But sometimes it's also nice to sit back, relax, and watch a movie that reminds us that humans are capable of creating great things, and that we don't always have to rage against the whole world--there are things in it worth loving and living for.


  1. I like this.

    I don't know how to show you the love that it seems like you need right now so I hope you know that you have people on this panel who wish the best for you and love you either way.

    And we all need a few good songs in our arsenals just like the ones you shared. If you are looking for one to supplement your collection, consider checking out "Fuck You" by Lilly Allen. She has released both the edited and un-edited versions. I like both and find there are appropriate uses for both!

    Take care love and hope you had a lovely birthday dinner - the company not withstanding.

  2. I agree with MJ's song recommendation. For sure. :)

    And thank you for this post. It can be hard to love people sometimes (especially when they are hurting you or after you watch some horrid film in which humanities less wonderful qualities are shown), but I like that you've found ways to bring that love back around. And I highly support singing (and swearing) loudly in one's car. It's among the most therapeutic things I know of.

  3. Oh man, I ADORE "fuck you." What a fabulous song. Thanks for the love and support, you wonderful humans :)