Tired Day

Today is a tired day. It's been a tired weekend, and a tired week. On Friday I got up at 8:30, had breakfast with my roommates, then came home and slept for three hours. I slept in til eleven yesterday and today. I was supposed to grade some papers and read a book and write a response to a different book, but I didn't do any of that. In fact, I haven't done any homework or any lesson preparing since Thursday.

I did, however, watch The Fellowship of the Ring, visit with several friends, see a surprise engagement on my favorite tv show, Parks and Rec (ee!), and read a short story by one of my favorite fantasy authors, Kelly Link. It was very pleasant.

Now I have to go back to school tomorrow. I'm supposed to revise an essay, plan a lesson, grade a bunch of papers, teach students how to write an annotated bibliography. Make myself a lunch. Organize my backpack. Get 8 hours of sleep. Get ready for therapy on Tuesday. Schedule in every little thing.

I'd rather spend my time planning a kick-ass Halloween party, watching any of the tv shows I'm way behind on, and curl up in my warm bed reading poetry. I'd rather sleep. I'd rather watch a movie with my boyfriend or go to a meditation class or sit in the park and catalogue the leaves falling. I'd rather go on bike rides and watch Timp change colors and figure out how to make my damn foot un-broken so I can go on hikes and walks and rides and jogs. I'd rather do anything than go back up to BYU campus tomorrow morning and teach class.

This problem has only been compounded by a series of strange things that have happened since I got back to my apartment tonight. First of all, one of my roommates posted a quote on our wall that says, "'You can't do wrong by doing right, and you can't do right by doing wrong.' -President Monson, which we talked about in our ward today : ) " This, of course, makes me worry that this is a passive agressive reaction to the signs we have up on our fridge that say things like "PFLAG--we support our gay children!" and "STOP BULLYING THE LGBT COMMUNITY" and "PRIDE!" But I'm probably just worrying too much. I can justify the existence of that quote in my head by remembering that what I think is right might have a different definition than what she thinks is right.

Also, I came home to a facebook message from a kid I've been fighting with on facebook asking me what my thoughts about reverse sexism are: "First I think your view of sexism is difficult for others, perhaps males, to understand. You get offended and call it sexism when a male compliments a woman, yet find it equally sexist if there is not reference to a women in the first place."

How do I even respond to that...? 

Sigh.

I don't really have a point to this post. I just wanted to make a list of all the things I have to do versus all the things I want to do. I guess I'll go make a lunch now. And keep waiting for December for this first semester of grad school to be over and to go on vacation with my similarly tired boyfriend.

At least there's always the Sailor Moon reboot to look forward to. And the Hobbit. So at least there's those too. Cheers, everyone, and good luck with your own tired weeks.

The Butterflies
Shivani Mehta

You unzip my dress, a curve from the side of my left breast to the top of my hip. My body is a column of butterflies. One by one, roused by the light and cool air, they wake from sleep. One by one they open their wings, responding to some deep internal pressure, the instinct to be free. They scatter in all directions; I learn what it means to be in many places at once.