Monday, October 22, 2012
This Week's Rubber Ball
"Life is a juggling act. Some of the balls are glass, others are rubber. When it comes time to drop a ball, which will it be: rubber or glass?"
This week, unfortunately, LGBT Voices is my rubber ball.
I've opened up a lot on this blog. I have shared much about myself, my struggles, and my journeys. This week, however, I hurt too much and don't have anything constructive to say or to add to the conversation so, until next week, adieu.
PS - The missionaries made a surprise visit to my home this evening to ask "what challenges and concerns I have with the church."
Rather than explain my historical research, my concerns with who/what god is (or isn't), or that the organization is being run as a multi-billion dollar enterprise rather than a church, I decided to go with the simplest response: I. Am. Gay.
I explained that the church has made it extremely clear it doesn't want gay members in it's congregations so why should I attend a church that doesn't want me?
They didn't have a response for me.
Shocking, I know.
It's my sister's 21st birthday today. They celebrated yesterday (Sunday) but nobody felt like including me in the festivities. I don't know why I'm surprised, they haven't spoken to me in months. My sister did text me a picture of her blowing out her candles with her gifts and the family around her, though. Maybe it was an olive branch, I don't know. It hurt though. A lot.
Some of you may wonder why I just don't call home. I tried that, I've been trying for months. It doesn't work.
Maybe if the missionaries come back they can try and explain why the LDS Church's"Gospel of Love" excludes me not only from their church, but also from my childhood home and my parents' hearts.