I've been off fighting fire in Wyoming and Idaho for the past two weeks.
I gotta be honest: it was hard.
Not because the work is hard--that's what I love about the job.
It was hard because I've never been in a relationship like this before. I've always loved the chance to get away for a couple weeks and work my ass off in the mountains. I've always loved getting in the dirt, sweat dripping down my neck, digging hotline with the heat of fire on my face.
But I've never had to leave someone home for two weeks. Never really had to feel that ache for someone.
I love getting away from computers with email and facebook and meaningless web browsing. But, I really had to ask myself if it's worth it--is the money and the thrill of fire and the satisfaction of a day well worked worth two weeks away from my girl?
In some ways it seems like this could be an easy answer. I mean, it's just for two weeks, right? The job is only during the summer when the wildfires are burning, right? In that sense, it could be totally worth it. Making lots of money. Playing in the dirt and the fire. Getting paid to camp out.
I love fire. The thing is, when I say I love fire I mean that I love the hard work. I love getting dirty. I love the thrill. I love actually being in the heat of fire. Unfortunately, along with the job of fighting fire comes certain types of people who I just don't get along with. I don't want to sound prejudiced or intolerant or unfair, but maybe I am those things. Fire is stereotypically a man's world (like a lot of different fields). On our 21 person hand crew, 3 of us were female.I don't have a problem with men. However, I recognize that I do not understand men. And, I admit, I really abhor the way a lot of men seem to think about and treat women. I hate to stereotype because I know it's unfair, but men are disgusting, disrespectful, and degrading.
There are so many great things about fighting fire. But this time around I've had to think about whether it's really worth it or not. I know I have a hard time being a team player in some circumstances, but it never seemed to be quite this hard before.
So, I have questions for all y'all. How do you develop positive relationships with people in your work environment when you disagree with their views on life? When you find their way of interacting and having fun a little offensive? How do you learn to continue enjoying your work when the people around you are not
This has been a problem for me because some people that I work with I adore but some I really tend to not like. And when I find that absolutely terrible personality that just doesn't click with me (has happened twice) I try really hard to find at least one good quality about the person. They're still a pain in my ass but they're a pain in the ass that has a redeeming quality :P
ReplyDeleteYeah. I think after a while I learned to appreciate some aspects of the people I was working with, but I still struggle with creating positive relationships with people in the work place--particularly in fire.
DeleteWe had a massive fire in the coastal swamps last year. Around twenty members of a firefighting crew were staying at the same hotel in Nags Head, NC where I was on vacation. They were fine, but I could tell that I would not be able to work with them since I am a gay man. I think the 1950s roles may be more entrenched in outdoorsy types of occupations. I did not see it much in the last few years of my business career.
ReplyDeleteMissing your special person is a very good sign. At times both my ex and I had to travel with our jobs. I realized the marriage was ending when we no longer missed each other.
I think you're right about some types of occupations having people with more "traditional" views on things... But, since I work for the government, it's actually a pretty safe and generally accepting environment most of the time.
DeleteI agree with Dean and his comments about your feelings about missing Jo being a good thing. I believe it is a true indication of how much you love and care for her. :) Sorry guys can be douches but I promise we're not all bad!
ReplyDeleteI know not all men are bad. There are men that I absolutely love and adore--and you're one of them! I just wish I knew how to be more accepting and more fun and outgoing around people I don't really connect with or agree with.
DeleteI hate missing Jo, but I do have to admit that I love when she misses me if I'm gone :)
I'd say it's a damn good thing that you missed me. :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as work goes, that's hard. I have people in my job I don't care for either. Mostly I try to stay civil and nice, to smile, to ask questions about things they may have mentioned in their personal life (how was your soccer game last night? How was your daughter's birthday party? How did building the shed go?). Sometimes though, even that is too much and all I can do is smile, say hi, and then try to limit my interactions with them for my own sanity.
PS.....why have I not seen any of these pictures before??? They're cool!
ReplyDeleteoh. well, I kept wanting to show you my pictures from my tour...but it feels like we haven't had a lot of sit down time together I guess.
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